The Tattoo Didn't Exactly Work Out So Well.
You can tell I don't exactly have any hot dates for the weekend. So, I'm farting around on the Internets today, when I see this Official Seal deal over at Sling's Domain (hey, whaddya want, I sit in front of a computer all the live long day. Like I'm not going to have internet windows up while I'm working? Little concept called MultiTasking, people. I mean, don't think I don't have a life here. Because I do. Have a life. OK then.). Hey, that looks fun. I've got nothing better to do -- let's make a seal!
I wasn't actually going to make a seal, for real, until I saw that little sunshine emblem. I have a tattoo that IS this sun. (Twilight Zone theme song, fade in) Well, it was supposed to look like this sun, anyway. Except more colors -- red, orange, yellow at the tips of the rays.
I still have the sketchbook where I drew it for the tattoo artist, a sexyass Hungarian flesh artist with long black hair and an intoxicating sort-of-smile. Sensual doesn't even begin to cover it. Puts me in mind of Johnny Depp, actually. We had this weird chemistry thing going on the whole time I lived there. Story for another day. Anyway, Smoldering Tattoo Guy does a beautiful job with the tattoo -- I mean I was practically ready to sign up for some sort of piercing -- when I decided that I couldn't see it well enough. I thought it needed something else. STG: This? No. Perfect.
Me: But it's not really showing up. I think it needs an outline.
STG: No. No outline. Trust me. I know what is good for you.
(half-smile. suggestive sidelong look. goodgawd.)
now at this point, I should've shut the hell up and let him tell me what
was good for me.
Me: That, I'm sure of. Don't you think it should be brighter... maybe more ink?
STG: No. No ink. This is the summer skin, brown skin. Wait some months. The ink must living with your skin. If you don't like it, you come back to me, I'm gonna fix it, make what you want. Trust me.
But I didn't. (Fool!) I insisted on an outline. Just a little skinny one. To "define" it. Why oh why, did I not listen? The man knew his inks. I insisted. He outlined it.
My sun turned into a spider. Fuck!
I tried the whole "living with it" thing, but the outline pretty much ruined that. So I went back. He didn't say a word. Just half-smiled. Covered the spider with his whole hand. Shook his head.
He suggested making it into something completely different. But noooo, I didn't want anything bigger. I asked him to add some sun-colors to the tips of the rays, so it might look less like an arachnid. Maybe bleed the yellow outside the goddamn outline. He wasn't so sure. "How can it be any worse?" I asked.
It's now a spider with painted nails.
Anyway, I guess I made an Official Seal. Since the tattoo didn't exactly work out. Amazing what memories come up whilst farting around on the Internets.
My sun turned into a spider. Fuck!
I tried the whole "living with it" thing, but the outline pretty much ruined that. So I went back. He didn't say a word. Just half-smiled. Covered the spider with his whole hand. Shook his head.
He suggested making it into something completely different. But noooo, I didn't want anything bigger. I asked him to add some sun-colors to the tips of the rays, so it might look less like an arachnid. Maybe bleed the yellow outside the goddamn outline. He wasn't so sure. "How can it be any worse?" I asked.
It's now a spider with painted nails.
Anyway, I guess I made an Official Seal. Since the tattoo didn't exactly work out. Amazing what memories come up whilst farting around on the Internets.
9 prescriptions:
I am jealous of your tattoo experience. Mine was spent sitting next to an unwashed furry biker dude, who was getting the color filled in on his leg sleeve. He was naked on a table, with his disgusting ass in the air, and the stench eminating from his various orifices, was enough to cause my tattoo artist to suggest numerous cigarette breaks. I happily complied. I listened to my artist, and am still okay with it, but now I keep wanting more done.
oh NOOOOO! poor little pumpkin. so sorry to hear that your beautiful sun turned into a spider.
when we came back from mazatlan, my sweet husband decided he wanted to cover the rose + teardrop on his shoulder with something to remind him of the mexican riviera. got a gorgeous parrot. the bird is outlined but not the sun behind him and it's gorgeous.
and tater . . . eeeeewwwwwww, honey. just. eeewwww.
i've heard there's a new way tattoo people can make tattoos disappear. maybe you could make this one disappear and start over?
heh heh, I laugh because I love. You and I are clearly cut from the same cloth. Those seedy, dark eyed Gypsy blood-types get me every time! Have you named your spider? Something whorish seems apropos. Oh let's come up with a name for her!!! (exhibit 'A' as to why I need a social life) Awwww lawwwwdy!
What? No picture of the accidental spider?
Tater: excuse me while I retch. How on earth did the tattoo artist carry on? Talk about a hostile working environment.
Lynette: parrot beats rose + teardrop any day. What is it with the cliche tattoos? (I have one of those as well. I guess I should do a series of Tattoo Tales.) Yes, I've heard there are ways of removal, but alas, they cost money. I'm thinking heat and dog food come before rectifying tattoo regrets.
Hat: MaeDel?
Veronica: I like that -- like the Accidental Tourist. Except this one isn't going back home. I actually tried, but the solo photo shoot was much twisting and cursing with flash.
PS (I meant I have a cliche tattoo, not I have a rose with teardrop. Just in case you were all burning curiosity)
The lesson here is that we must always listen to our tattoo artists. Not that I'd know. Every time I think about getting a tat I think of what it will look like on my saggy self once I'm in the home and that takes the edge off the allure.
L: Right. I just came across this quote the other day, actually:
Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor. ~Billy Elmer
I'm glad I don't have one on my breasts or ass.
Lorraine: a small tattoo on one's ankle generally keeps it shape throughout life.
I have a big turtle on my right shoulder, and -- like Tater -- want another one, but am not sure what to get. It not only needs to look great, but needs to have meaning as well.
I'll blog about my tattoo at some point and get tattoo tales from others.
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