Kucinich: Presidential Candidate or Chick Magnet?

Remember when I was pissed off about Hillary Clinton's femininity being an actual issue in the media, and how it doesn't seem to apply to the guys' masculinity? Remember when I asked why no one questions Dennis Kucinich's masculinity?

Now, I threw that out there, not as an attack on Congressman Kucinich's masculinity, but to illustrate the fact that for those candidates with a penis, masculine/feminine characteristics are a non-issue. It's only brought up in reference to candidates with breasts.

I picked Kucinich for that question because he doesn't strike me as one of those hulking macho guys. Not a bad thing -- those guys are usually arrogant assclowns, and sexist to boot. An overdose of masculinity is not a good thing in my book.

But let's face it, Kucinich isn't exactly butching it up. In fact, he has always put me in mind of a friendly gnome. I don't mean that in a disparaging way -- gnomes are pretty cool. (especially Evil ones wearing sexy hats -- you know who you are.) I know, I know: "Right, Cowbell, how you gonna call somebody a gnome and not mean that in a disparaging way? Sounds pretty damn disparaging to me."

I said friendly gnome, people. No mud-slinging here.

In all seriousness, I was impressed with Kucinich during the YouTube debates. I don't think he can win, but I did like his answers. Did y'all know he's from my home state? Yes, I'm originally a Buckeye. That makes us officially "homies", by the way. As in, "My boy Dennis was giving a speech the other day, and ..." Yeah.

Anyway, I think I know why Dennis Kucinich's masculinity is not in question. I give you his wife, Elizabeth Harper Kucinich. No Barbara Bush the Elder here, people. My man Dennis is coupled up with one smokin' hot willowy sylph of a redhead. I mean, damn! Did I say hot? Yes, I did.

She is 29 years old. He is 31 years her senior. She is British, from Essex, a bit New-Agey, and has a tongue-piercing. Oh yes, she does. A First Lady with a tongue-stud? Yes, I think so.

Now I'm not saying that a woman's hotness is a direct indicator of her man's masculinity -- that's for the testosterone-laden hetero males to debate. I'm just saying I now understand why no one is bringing said masculinity into question.

Why doesn't it work both ways, though? I mean, Bill's a good looking guy. Granted, he's not 29, but still a good looking guy. Why hasn't the media decided that yes, Hillary Clinton is sufficiently feminine (whatever the hell that means) based on the appearance of her husband? Goose and gander, here people.

Of course, if Senator Clinton's husband were a 29 year old hottie, it wouldn't exactly work that way, would it? No, it would not. She would not be "taken seriously". Instead of eliciting high-fives and a You Go Girl! from the masses, she would draw scorn and clucking of tongues. She would be called a Cougar at best, a cradle-robbing hussy buying companionship at worst.

There's just no getting around that double standard, is there?

Bastards.

But back to my man Dennis. Damn! Did you all know this? I didn't. They were married in 2005, after only having known each other for about 3 months. By all accounts, they're very close and genuinely in love. They met in Kucinich's office. This according to Common Dreams:

"Elizabeth Harper walked with her boss into Dennis Kucinich's Capitol Hill office for a meeting and immediately noticed three things. In the reception area, she saw a visiting nun in white robes. In his inner office sat a shelf bearing an illustration depicting "light consciousness" and a bust of Gandhi."

Apparently, that piqued her interest, and she emailed him. Within a few weeks, they were engaged, and married 3 months later. I've got to say, most folks wouldn't imagine them to be partnered up, just based on appearance. I mean, this blows the whole Charles and Diana thing out of the water.

Frog Prince my ass. And did I say gnome? My bad.

Elizabeth though, is no princess. She has volunteered in India with orphaned children, and worked in rural Tanzania as an advocate for regional development. She has a masters degree in International Conflict Analysis. She believes their union to based more on substance than form:

It's not like I'm some ditsy young thing and he's an old fogey. He has the wisdom of an ancient and the energy of youth.

Indeed. I am so sure he must have the energy of youth. That vegan diet must be keeping him chock full o' vim and vigor. I'm sorry, but I've got say it, this man has got to be some sort of freak in the sheets. Think about it.


Her thoughts on their height difference -- she is 6' tall:

Who cares? I like wearing high heels, so I’m used to being taller than most men I stand next to.

That's right girl. Strut.


And for all those who say it must be a money thing, Kucinich doesn't lead an extravagant life, comparatively speaking. At the debates the other night, he said he's still living in a working class neighborhood, in the same house he bought 35 years ago. Can't really say the same for John Edwards. I mean, girl could hook up with a lot of younger, hotter rich guys, if that's what she was after.

Like I said, freak in the sheets.

Now I like a lot of what Kucinich has to say. I have concerns about how he would come across with international relations. And really, after this Charlie-Foxtrot of an administration, we need some serious leadership when it comes to international relations.

However ... if Kucinich had this British enchantress heading to the alter after less than a month, the man must have some serious skillz in the international relations department.

Something to ponder.



Photo credits:
1 & 2: kucinich.us
3: Jason Behnken/Tampa Tribune