Gmail: Big Brother in Your Sidebar
Things have been busy in the land of Cowbell. I'm going to try and update about what's been going on, and also get some of these drafts posted before they die the quiet death of forgotten drafts. Who knows how many of these things are languishing in the nether pages of the Edit Posts tab. Anyway, here's one from a day when Gmail was chapping my ass.
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I'm about over Gmail. Never mind that their whole "conversations" organizational method is, in practice, annoying as hell. Ever notice those helpful links over to the side? Ever wonder how the links are always mysteriously related to whatever you've been writing about? Yeah, the text in your emails triggers some kind of freakish link recommendation autobot. Like Match.com for email or some shit. It's disturbing in a 1984, Homeland Security, Big Brother kind of way. Like Halliburton is running Gmail or something.For instance, if you send an email to your friend asking for a recipe for cupcakes, Gmail might hook you up with some links like these:
Make Fun, Cute Cupcakes
200 Piece Kit from Betty Crocker
200 Piece Kit from Betty Crocker
Decorate Cupcakes, Cakes and More
DecoratorKit.com
www.LINK.REMOVED because I'm not advertising for them.
DecoratorKit.com
www.LINK.REMOVED because I'm not advertising for them.
Buttercream Frosting
Watch Amazing Cake Decorating Tips Tricks & Secrets Of The Pros
Try it out now!
www.LINK.SIMILARLY.REMOVED .
Watch Amazing Cake Decorating Tips Tricks & Secrets Of The Pros
Try it out now!
www.LINK.SIMILARLY.REMOVED .
Disturbing, right? Look Gmail, I appreciate the suggestions, but I prefer to keep my cupcakes to myself, thank you! I guess this advertising method enables them to offer free email. OK, fine, whatever. But Betty Crocker isn't the only one profiting from Gmail's linky love. I discovered this about the time I wrote the post on Sales Genie's racist Superbowl commercials. There was some email traffic regarding that post making the rounds of my inbox then, and Gmail took it upon themselves to provide me with some helpful linkage.
Things like this:
Funny Foreigner Jokes
It's Not Because They're Different, We Laugh Because They're Inferior.
http://www.CanYouBelieveThisBullshit.crap
Funny Foreigner Jokes
It's Not Because They're Different, We Laugh Because They're Inferior.
http://www.CanYouBelieveThisBullshit.crap
Are you kidding me? "We laugh because they're inferior"? Who is Google hiring these days? Nice, Gmail. But hey, let's not stop there. It seems the current political climate is having an ugly effect on what's considered appropriate in the world of corporate advertising:
Guantanamo Bay T-Shirt
"Come for the beaches... Stay for the waterboarding."
http://www.BushCo4u.crap/
Guantanamo Bay T-Shirt
"Come for the beaches... Stay for the waterboarding."
http://www.BushCo4u.crap/
Yes, that was actually in the sidebar of my Gmail account. I'm sorry, but didn't the Google folks hit the big leagues some time back? I'm thinking they can afford to be a little more choosy (and responsible) regarding their advertisers. There's just no excuse for that. But hey, since our Commandant in Chief doesn't classify waterboarding as actual "torture", I'm probably just being overly sensitive, not to mention unpatriotic. Alright, how 'bout this one:
Funny Chinese Ringtones
Ringtones in 30 seconds!
Download Funny Chinese Ringtones
http://www.NotReallyFunny.crap/
I guess foreigners are not only inferior, they're also here for our entertainment. Funny! But if it's a different kind of entertainment you're after, there's always this site:
Get a Chinese Wife
Meet Chinese Wives Near You Today.
100% Free. Join Now!
Or, if you want a broader pool from which to pull your multiculti romantic experiences,
Interracial Relationships
Interracial Relationships
Start A Interracial Relationship!
View Profiles 100% Free. Join Now!
OK, the Chinese Wife site, self-explanatory on the fuckedupness scale. That is something I'd expect to find on some $1 per click site, not in my own friggin' Gmail account.
If you're scratching your head over the Interracial Relationships site, thinking, "What the hell ... where does Cowbell get off griping about an interracial dating site? Aren't her kids biracial? What a bunch of bullshit," I don't blame you. Good point. It's a complicated subject that is not the point of today's bitchery, so for now I'll leave it at this -- when I delved headlong into marriage, I was blissfully ensconced in the whole "we all have the same hearts" deal, completely clueless as to the historical issues around the Black/White relationship paradigm. My Ex was, in hindsight, affected by some of those very issues, but I was clueless about that as well, and wasn't able to face that reality until years later. Also, I was a child who had no business getting married in the first place, but hey, I was 18 and knew everything, so on we charged.
Anyway, no, of course I am not against interracial relationships. I'm not against any type of relationship between consenting adults that is based in equality, honesty and respect. What I'm against is specifically seeking out an interracial relationship around some fucked up fetish deal, or as a public display of being Down With Diversity, or an attempt to somehow assuage liberal guilt, or because it seems "exotic", or whatever, just to touch on some reasonings from one side of the equation.
That's a whole different deal than a relationship eventually developing with a real person you've already met and with whom you share a connection.
Whew, this needs to be a subject for another day - sorry.
What I'm getting at is that this advertisement in my Gmail sidebar reduces people's relationships to one thing, race, largely by capitalizing on the whole Exotic Experience thing. Sure, it's usually framed in kinder gentler terms like, "Everyone has their preferences, just like hair color!" or "I just find dark skin so beautiful!" or "I just don't even see color!" Well, yes, actually you do if you're signing up for an interracial dating site: you're looking to purposefully hook up with someone you haven't even met yet on the basis of one thing -- race. And stepping into a culture for no other reason than to satisfy your own "preference" is ... just bullshit.
If you're scratching your head over the Interracial Relationships site, thinking, "What the hell ... where does Cowbell get off griping about an interracial dating site? Aren't her kids biracial? What a bunch of bullshit," I don't blame you. Good point. It's a complicated subject that is not the point of today's bitchery, so for now I'll leave it at this -- when I delved headlong into marriage, I was blissfully ensconced in the whole "we all have the same hearts" deal, completely clueless as to the historical issues around the Black/White relationship paradigm. My Ex was, in hindsight, affected by some of those very issues, but I was clueless about that as well, and wasn't able to face that reality until years later. Also, I was a child who had no business getting married in the first place, but hey, I was 18 and knew everything, so on we charged.
Anyway, no, of course I am not against interracial relationships. I'm not against any type of relationship between consenting adults that is based in equality, honesty and respect. What I'm against is specifically seeking out an interracial relationship around some fucked up fetish deal, or as a public display of being Down With Diversity, or an attempt to somehow assuage liberal guilt, or because it seems "exotic", or whatever, just to touch on some reasonings from one side of the equation.
That's a whole different deal than a relationship eventually developing with a real person you've already met and with whom you share a connection.
Whew, this needs to be a subject for another day - sorry.
What I'm getting at is that this advertisement in my Gmail sidebar reduces people's relationships to one thing, race, largely by capitalizing on the whole Exotic Experience thing. Sure, it's usually framed in kinder gentler terms like, "Everyone has their preferences, just like hair color!" or "I just find dark skin so beautiful!" or "I just don't even see color!" Well, yes, actually you do if you're signing up for an interracial dating site: you're looking to purposefully hook up with someone you haven't even met yet on the basis of one thing -- race. And stepping into a culture for no other reason than to satisfy your own "preference" is ... just bullshit.
Anyway, by itself I likely wouldn't have paid that one much mind, but when combined with all the other unwelcome links in my mailbox, it annoyed me along with the rest of them.
OK. On to the next link to arrive unbidden in my email. Since we're on the subject of relationships, you may be glad to know that when it comes to holding on to your man, Gmail has your back, ladies.
Understand Why Men Leave?
Learn The Real Reason Why Men Leave
And How To Become Irresistable!
Learn The Real Reason Why Men Leave
And How To Become Irresistable!
Wow. If only Eliot Spitzer's wife had had Gmail. Because we all know when a man leaves a woman, it's because she has somehow been found lacking in appearance, desirability, and effort. I mean really, why should men be villified for leaving our asses? If we were more irresistible, they wouldn't! Boys will be boys, ladies, best keep up on the waxings and step it up a notch.
Come on Gmail, if I want to hear that kind of crap, I'll tune in to Dr. Laura's show and listen to her blast resistible women for causing their men to lie and fuck around without protection.
Better yet, I'll just click this link in my sidebar:
Ann Coulter's Column Free
Get Ann Coulter's weekly column delivered to you
Free via email!
www.KissMyAssGmail.crap
Blech! My eyes felt violated. No wonder Blogger -- Google creation that it is -- won't let me change the email address that was used to register this blog -- they know their next ad would have to be:
Understand Why Gmail Subscribers Leave?
Learn How Not to Piss Off Your Customers!
http://www.GetOutOfMyInbox.crap/
Bastards.
19 comments:
That is very scary, as in if that's what they are doing - or have a programme to do - what else is their system doing? I know that may smack of paranoia but....
As to their links - obviously if you're willing to pay you get on Google.
The downside of the Internet.
Alright for you girl - get your vent on!
Thank you. For the first time in years, I actually feel okay about keeping my AOL account after lo these many years.
And I totally hear you about the "interracial relationships" thing -- no, not everyone in an interracial relationship is instantly free of racism and the responsibility that comes with privilege, and yes ... those that will only consider partners of another race aren't that different from those who would never consider a partner of another race. But I would like you to pontificate further at another time because I'd like to hear it and I think I'd learn something.
Why would they even think that's acceptable??
I'd 86 G-mail in a dead second.
Downside: The spiders that crawl our gmail are based on the 'Carnivore' program that the NSA uses to scan our emails for terra content. The data gathered will probably be used to determine which internment camp we are sent to after the declaration of martial law...
Upside: Without Googleads, it's unlikely that Blogger would be 'free'.
The internment camps will provide a great chance for us Bloggers to meet each other. Bring a deck of cards and some easily carried musical instruments...
Bloody hell...the mongrels
Was fun to read a good, bracing Cowbell rant! funny and pissed at the same time. Yay! Very diverting, and making hotmail not look so bad.
Willym: You know, these days I don't think it sounds paranoid at all.
RG: In with anger, out with love.
Red: I also have a hotmail acct I use for diversity work, and a yahoo account that I've had forever, and both are infinitely better than gmail. I wish I'd known before I signed up with Blogger.
And you always want me to pontificate about the controversial subjects, ha! Pot stirrer.
Sling: Because they're ratbastards. I would 86 them, but they won't let me change the account I signed up with. I'd have to make a totally new blog.
Allan: Hmm... good point. I have a travel sized chess set. Don't forget your guitar.
MC: Exactly. Bastards.
E: Glad somebody is getting something out of my ranting -- Gmail sure doesn't give a flying flip. Hotmail really isn't bad -- I use it for my community work, and it's ok. Yahoo has actually upgraded to the point where they are a lot like Outlook.
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I laughed. Great post!
There is an award for you at my place.
That would totally piss me off. As it is, I'm just annoyed about the fact that I'm probably going to have to have The Spouse give me a new email address because I'm suddenly getting spammed all the time again.
Life is not always easy.
I had this same conversation with a friend a week ago. He actually enjoys receiving ads related to his interests.
I'm with you...Big Brother.
Um...holy shit?
Capitalist bastards! I'm so creeped out every day by how far they'll go to cut a profit. I'm dreading the day they learn to advertise on the moon.
Although I've seen that Guantanamo Bay T-shirt - someone was selling them at a protest - and I thought it was pretty funny. It's kind of a dubious satire, but when you see the actual T-shirt (which looks like a tourist shirt you'd get in Hawaii or something) it's pretty cool.
I'm glad I didn't listen to you when you first got gmail and were extolling its virtues... :-)
I bagged gmail for that very reason- that level of intrusiveness skeeved me out completely. I'm not naive enough to think no one is tracking things, but my boring middle aged ass does not need that level of intrusion in my personal email- not that any of it is particularly exciting, mind you, but still!
Whim: I had the same dilemma. ooh, thank, I'll check it out!
Lorraine: Spammers are almost as bad as big brother advertisers.
Rodger: What?! He's probably working for them. A secret spy.
Hat: For that remark, Missy, you get an ad about an Evangelical Doggy DooDoo Picker Upper Service.
WM: Really? Hmm, well, I suppose if it had a pic of GeeDubya being waterboarded, so there'd be no question of the message, maybe.
And yeah, yeah, you told me so. You were right.
DL: They're skeevy bastards alright.
So disturbing. They may as well go the whole mile and start suggesting who you should be friends with. "Based on the contents of your private dialog, we thought you would like to chat with..."
"Government mail" I am really happy that I don"t use blogger or gmail today.
Holy crap Tater, they're probably spying on my highly interesting and spy-worthy blog at this moment, and will be putting your idea into practice forthwith! (Of course you won't see any of that action, greedy bastards.)
Well, as to why I use Blogger: "My bloggie has a first name, it's F-R-E-E-E..."
I clearly need coffee.
thanks ...now i want to stab myself in the eye...
Nice blog. Thats all.
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