Spoke Too Soon

OK, so I was a little fast on the draw with my comment yesterday. Apparently, I should not have gone back to work yesterday, as I am right back home again today, as is the son. -sigh- I think I pulled a muscle in my chest at some point last night in a coughing fit. I'm so goddamn sick of coughing it's not even funny. It's getting better though.

I actually do feel better than I did over the weekend, which, come to think of it, isn't saying a whole hell of a lot --- those frogs sitting in a jar in some biology classroom probably feel better than I did on Sunday, but regardless, I am improved, just not quickly enough for my taste. Today is my 4th sick day, plus the weekend. Which chaps my ass, because I prefer spending my sick days and weekends not being sick. Please, like you all really use all your sick days actually being sick.

Anyway, I got up this morning, fully intending to go to work ... and realized that would be idiotic. Went back to bed and slept past noon. Could've easily kept right on sleeping, too, but then I'd have been up all night, and that would really screw things up.

I need to get my ass up and hit the store and the post office ... if I could only convince my ass it actually needs to move. Ugh. Speaking of my ass, there had damn well better be less of it, seeing as I've eaten nothing but soup and toast since last Wednesday night, and not much of that. Damn, if only I hadn't pitched our scale into the garbage a couple of years back, I'd know. I hadn't regretted that little fit of fat-rage until now. Crap. Anyway, if I can keep that up for another few days, maybe I'll have enough of a head start to actually give me that motivation for working out again once I'm feeling better. Or monkeys could fly out of my ass, either one.

I don't really have any news, seeing as I've basically been living in a self induced fog, but I'm bored, so here I am writing about nothing. Oh, really, don't mention it, I don't mind.

Let's see ... you'll all be happy to know our resident toothless wonder has been doing much better. Batman was basically acting like his old self, even playing with his toys, until yesterday. He kept holding his head to the side, shaking his head, and even whined a couple of times, which is very unusual for him. Of course, I was paranoid that his tooth crater had formed some kind of hellish infection, but it appeared to be fine. Other than the fact that his tongue now hangs out a bit at that spot that is, but you can't even see that unless you lift his lip up. It would make him look like a pansy if he ever decided to growl and bare his teeth, though. Anyway, I cleaned his ears, which he hates, because it involves squirting this solution in his ear canals, but now he seems fine. Either that or he's smart enough to fake it so I don't clean them again.


In political news, looks like McCain is edging out the Mittster, which is a relief for me -- I think -- because Romney freaks me the hell out. Seriously, I would not be shocked if he was an alien disguised as a human. There is just something sinister about him. He creeps me out. Then again, is there really a lesser of evils over on the red side this time around? I'm not sure.

Also, John Edwards has pulled out of the race. I'm more sorry about that than I'd have thought, had you asked me a few months back. I actually did like a lot of his positions, and I think he was a good candidate. He shone a spotlight on the whole poverty issue; a bit surprising, coming from the rich, white, straight, privileged male in the race, but there you go. So the question now, to whom will he throw his endorsement? I'm betting on Obama. They seem to have been allying up over recent months, much moreso than either of them with Hillary Clinton. And I tell you what, I would be very very happy at the prospect of an Obama/Edwards ticket.

Also, Ralph Nader apparently is floating the idea of another run for the White House. Hey, Ralph, back the fuck off, OK? Seriously. How many times have you run now? I admire you making a stand for difference, but you know you don't actually have a shot at it, and now is not the time. Now is really not the time, Ralph. Did you not learn anything with the whole Gore deal? When Dubya makes one of his dumbass blunders, do you wonder how much responsibility you bear? We actually have a shot at some change, at making some history, a shot at some friggin' hope here, at the risk of sounding idealistic. So just sit your ass down, Ralph, sit this one out. Greater good, OK?

Damn.

Alright people, that's all I've got for now. I'm still trying to get caught up on everyone's sites. Hope everyone else who's been hacking and snotting is on the upswing. Cheers.

On the Bright Side...

--UPDATE BELOW--

The good news is, I no longer sound like a frog crossed with Lauren Bacall.

The bad news is I now sound like Harvey Fierstein. Yeah. Not quite as sexy as the Bacall thing. Especially when you're a chick.

Also, the continuous coughing and hacking has had an unexpected benefit: that's right kids, the ongoing involuntary ab workout! So really, the danger of a hernia is balanced out by that 6-pack I'm sure to develop. And no gym fees!

Cold & sinus fun has now morphed into some form of hybrid crappery; not full blown flu, but so much more than the common cold. To get the same result, just add a nice lowgrade fever, a deep cough, and some achy joints to the requisite sore throat and snot filled head. And if you really want to mix things up a bit, every once in while, aspirate some of the crap ejected from the lungs during a good coughing convulsion, so that your throat completely seizes up and closes for about 37 minutes. Yeah, good times.

From what I'm reading and hearing, a fair number of my fellow west coasters, as well as some out east, are enjoying their own snot induced misery. I do recommend replacing that roll of toilet of paper with some of those lotion tissues. Big difference.

Hey, at least I'm not puking.


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OK, this shit's not funny any more. This has morphed into some serious sickness. I just now got out of bed ... at 5pm. Crap. Do you think a person could actually cough themselves inside out? I feel like Tony Soprano and Big Pussy just beat the living shit out of me. That's all I've got .

In the Midst of the Sickery

Some of you have already been privy to my bitchery about the whole moms and sickness thing. Simply put, I'm of the belief that moms should be exempt from illness. Period. It should be outlawed. If I need to explain that to anyone, just think about how your mom (or grandma, whoever held the mom role in your household) took care of you when you were sick. Remember the soup and tea, the thermometers and orange juice and scrambled eggs? Right. Now think of who took care of your mom and kept the house clean when she was sick. Right. Moving on.

I'm home sick today. Yesterday too. Along with the Male Offspring. What started as a sore throat and some sinus nastiness has also progressed downward, so I can now enjoy hacking my lungs up along with my head feeling like it's been pumped full of pudding and my throat feeling like someone took a cheese grater to it.

And just to add to the fun, when is the last time we've had sunny days around the Puget Sound? I'd tell you, if I could remember, but I can't. The last 3 days though, which I've spent ensconced on my couch, wrapped in blankets? Sunny. Gorgeous. Gotta hand it to those Seattle weather gods, their timing is always spot on for a little Cowbell fuckery.

The boys were not happy with me. They expect some dog park action on sunny days, not for their mom to be buried under a blanket hacking and snorting snot around.

I do have to say that Teen Demon made banana and chocolate chip pancakes this morning, which the son and I greatly appreciated. Love that girl. Of course, the pancake maker is not expected to be the kitchen cleaner as well, which normally works out fine. Today, however, engulfed in this sickery, the ensuing chaos of the kitchen was enough to send me straight back to the couch. The son washed dishes though, in exchange for me messing around with our computer router to accomplish some crap or other he wanted to do with his video games. So really the whole mom sickness thing wasn't too awful today.


---------TIME OUT---------------

We interrupt this program with some breaking news from This Old Motherfucking House. The son has informed me, literally at just this moment, that we have leak under the kitchen sink. Fuck. Hold on ...

OK. I'm back. Not to worry folks, only a loose pipe fitting. Just my bastard of a house having a little chuckle, throwing some homeowner hijinx into the mix. Yeah, the fun just never stops does it? The son was good enough to sop up the water with the already ruined roll of paper towels, so it's all good.
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So anyway, last night was Dads' Night for the wrestling team. The dads escort their wrestler or yell leader out to the mat, photos are taken, dad and progeny are introduced to the teeming stands. Kind of a way to honor and thank the parents, which is cool. On moms night, the moms got flowers. Dad's night is also Senior Night, when they showcase the senior athletes and team captains, so it was a special night for Teen Demon, this being her culminating year of high school.

(Teen Demon is second from the right, bottom.)

Male Offspring was Teen Demon's stand-in dad last year, and he wanted to escort her again this year. Except he was sick. He was supposed to be wrestling as well, but that wasn't an option, given his inflamed throat and swollen glands. Anyway, we roused ourselves from couch and bed, showered and got ourselves to the gym on time.


This is them, making the walk out to the mat. Male Offspring was the only one of the "dads" to bring flowers, so that scored him points for the 2nd year in a row.

Isn't he such a good pseudo-dad? This picture makes me want to smile and cry at the same time.

How did they get this old so fast? He's just starting to edge out his big sister in height. (He's already passed the Bohemian.) She's going to be gone to college before I know it. I can't even think about how much I'll miss her. Anyway, the team won the match, sans Male Offspring's wrestling prowess, Teen Demon got her senior's medal and her flowers, and another Dads' Night came and went.

Who Let the Mitt Out? (Woof Woof)

Seems our boy Mitt was seen getting his MLK celebration on. And really, if you want the world to notice that you're honoring Dr. King for a hot minute, what better way to do that, than mingling with Real Live Black Folks? It's true. Mitt Romney bravely ventured into the 'hood, where the good Guv'nah pushed himself into photo ops with the locals, and stiffly posed the question, "Who let the dogs out? Woof! Woof!" He also showed himself to be a man of style by commenting on one future voter's blingage.

The Mittster, keepin' it real. It's something you just have to see for yourself.





Are you kidding me? I'm guessing the hysterical laughter in the background flew right over Mitt's head. I mean, surely his new homies were laughing with him, right?

Does anybone remember that old Saturday Night Live skit, the one that went, He's white (white!), he's extremely white! He walks with his buttocks extremely tight! Yeah. That's been running through my mind the last hour or so.

The sad thing is, this probably won't hurt his chances for the Big House in the least. Those who would be offended at his disingenuous audacity here wouldn't have been throwing votes his way to begin with, and those who would support him, are probably saying, "See? Mitt loves the Blacks! Golly, he's just too hip to be square!"

Hat tip to the Hat for tipping me off to this gem. Because really, nothing is more amusing than T-mobile-kickin' it with my homegirl, synchronizing those computers, and gettin' some madcrazy Mittness on.

Peace out.

Hearing Dr. King

I've been trying to write something meaningful about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. today, but haven't been able to do that effectively. Here are his own words, rather than mine.


This clip contains Dr. King's thoughts on the war of his time, and could be spoken as is, today. His words are, as the poster put it, "amazingly relevant" to what is happening in our current world situation. There is also a moving bit from his last speech ... prophetic words there as well, that bring up goose pimples.






This next clip is a condensed version of the I Have a Dream speech, with photos and a good music beat. Again with the goose pimples.






And this last one, if you have a little more time to listen on this day, is the full version I Have a Dream speech.

I'm not much for videos -- drives me nuts not to be able to multitask, I guess -- and I especially don't do well with the longer ones (except the Hat's) but there is much in this speech beyond the clips that are usually played and which we all know. Dr. King's words still apply, are still relevant today in 2008. Yes, much has been accomplished since he made this speech over 40 years ago, but much of it could still be spoken today; there is so much that still must change. That check is still marked insufficient funds. This is one video where I don't want to do anything else, just listen.





I can't begin to understand what it must've been like to be alive at this time, to hear this man speak these words, to have experienced the things he speaks so powerfully about. But I am thankful he lived, and thankful we can still hear his words today.

Let Me Change into Something a Little More Comfortable

Could this have anything to do with my current single status?

Yeah. That's pretty much what I thought.

Meanwhile, Back at the Batcave...

---UPDATE BELOW---

Batman is home from the Evil Dog Abuser known simply as "Vet". Actually, Mason is the one who dreads visits to Vet. Batman does fine. They all love him there. They are convinced he is an "angel", one of the "sweetest dogs they've seen", and "unusually smart". He's not even afraid to be left there -- he just trots right on back, like he's going to get a treat or something.

Anyway, I picked him up a bit ago. Poor guy, he's woozy and a bit stumbly. He was all drugged up, but when he saw me, he tried to wag and prance just like he was sober, eliciting oohs and ahs from the receptionist and techs all the while. Sling, I don't think he gave away his superhero identity, but the tech did seem to be looking at him with a newfound respect. He's sleeping next to me now, snoring, which he doesn't usually do.



So Batman has these huge round eyes, I mean the dog is channeling Li'l Orphan Annie at the best of times. When he's drugged, he looks like that dog in the fairy tales with dinner plates for eyes. Even the folks at the vet offices, who see drugged dogs every day, can't get over how crazy big his eyes get. Once I took Batman back after his stomach surgery of '05. It was months later, and the tech was all, "Omigod! That's the dog who had the gigantic eyes!" It's like there's no iris whatsoever, just giant black pupils. It looks kind of freaky, actually. I was going to get a picture of it, but with his green "magic eye" effect even in normal photos, I was afraid I'd blind him with them dilated like that.

You all would not believe the size of the root on this tooth! It's bigger than the other 2 pieces combined. I mean, this thing is a tusk, people. It must've gone all the way up to his nose. Now I understand why the canine teeth in particular are such a big deal. From what the vets I called said, and the internet as well, the canine tooth is the worst tooth to remove because the root is enormous, relatively speaking. Apparently it's a real job to get those jokers out of there, and now I see why. And since I know you guys love seeing gory pics, here's one for morbidly curious.


I should've put a quarter in there for scale or something. Put it this way, the root piece on the right is the size of the entire bottom half of my first finger, no kidding. And I have long fingers. The piece on the far left is the part that was actually visible in his mouth before the break - what you would think of as his actual "tooth". Most of the middle piece was under the gum line - this is the other piece I pulled out the day after he broke it. The root is flipped over from how it would've fit if all 3 pieces were together. Anyway, it doesn't look as massive in the picture, but suffice it to say, I was shocked.

So that's that. She also removed a small wart that was growing on his lip, cleaned his teeth and did blood work, so he's good to go. He's got antibiotics and pain meds that should have his eyes working their magic for a while yet.

Poor pretty boy. I'm glad he's ok.

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UPDATE:

The patient had his first dose of pain meds and his antibiotic, and is sleeping, although restlessly. He managed to eat his dinner, and kept it down. Batman doesn't play when it comes to food -- he could probably lose every tooth in his mouth and still find a way to eat. He's been coughing every now and then, his throat sounds froggy when he sleeps, from the breathing tube. I can tell he hurts. Poor buddy.

Earlier today he woke up, saw his green ball, and gingerly picked it up with the good side of his mouth. He stood there for a while, then walked over and sat next to me. He just sat there for the longest time, holding the ball, like he wasn't sure what to do next. Finally I held my hand out, and he just dropped the ball in my hand and lay down. When a Lab can't figure out what to do with a ball, you know he's feeling crappy.

Surprise Surprise, Sergeant Carter!

There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.
~Diana Cortes

Oh yes I did. I used a sappy quote. Just like those FWD'd chain emails with a Rose of Friendship! or a Teddy Bear Hug for You! or some such sentimentality. So flog me. At least I didn't go for that whole Friendship Angel angle. That would've been pushing it too far.

But yes I did use a sappy quote, and yes, I stand by it. Get past the sappiness, people, strive to see the deeper meaning ... come on ... open your hearts.

Oh, that's right, you already did.

I will be writing longer and even sappier emails this evening, after these 2 meetings I have coming up, but know that I have had a sappy song in my heart, and those cartoon bluebirds fluttering around me all day. Seriously.


Batman's surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. Keep your fingers and paws crossed.

Another Day, Another Dime

Who the hell works until 8:45 at night*? Somebody smack me! Crap.

And I see there are 18 comments on my Tyllary post, which means Red has probably gotten a posse together. Hold on, people, I need some grub.


* Before you start asking if work for Wal Mart or something, no, I didn't have to, yes, I have a union, yes my boss is wunderbar -- just lost track of time. That's what happens the one night you don't have to pick up your son from wrestling. I've got to get a hobby. Or a man.

Hillary Does Tyra

If that sounds titillating, I'm betting you watched American Idol last night rather than the debates. Well tune in kids, because Hillary Clinton, US Senator and presidential candidate, will appear on the illustrious Tyra Banks Show January 18th.

They will discuss such meaty subjects as what title to bestow upon Bill, should she be elected, and which reality show Hillary could envision herself on. (Apparently, "First Mate" and "First Laddie" were both rejected, but Hills proposed a reality show in which contestants would come up with an appropriate title. Also, Hillary, although longing for Top Model honors, settled for Dancing With the Stars as her dream reality show.)

Well. That certainly helps me decide which direction to cast my vote, how about you?

I was surprised to hear this. No, let's go with flabbergasted. I understand the candidates are looking for publicity. Oprah, OK. Phil Donahue back in the day, fine. Anderson, Larry, Katie, absolutely. The late night talk shows, well, that's become routine as well, giving the candidates a chance to show their human side and throw in a bit of everyman humor. But Tyra? Criminy, Senator, what's a classy broad like you doing in a dive like that?

One can only assume she's going after the young female demographic. The polls show that her female support comes largely from women of a certain age, and we all know how reliable the polls are. I'm sorry, Senator, but if Tyra is your chosen medium, exactly what demographic do you think you're targeting? Because, personally, I'd consider going after one that votes. (Yes, that was snippy and presumptuous. Flog me. Whatever.)

As a woman, I detest Tyra's TV offerings. I'm not saying she should become a political pundit or change the types of shows she does. You want to do a show about America's next superstar model, fine, that's not my beef. You want to do the Oprah wannabe thing, no problem. Practice that inflection in the mirror all you want, honey. It's not the shows themselves, it's the way they're done that bothers me. She is in a position of influence, with the potential to be a strong positive model for young women on issues like standards of beauty, weight, self esteem, and self worth. Unfortunately, her influence is more harmful than positive.

As the mother of a teenage daughter who does, to my chagrin, enjoy watching Top Model, I have a real problem with the message that Tyra sends to young women --- particularly to young women of color. From the time they were born, my daughters have learned from the media that white is right, thin is in. So forgive me for holding Tyra to a higher standard, but yes, as a woman of color, a woman who has struggled with weight, she should know better. She should damn well know better, and she's in a position to do something about it, but she's blowing it. And in her vacuous wake, young women are left with the message to be thinner, whiter, dumber in order to be beautiful and sexy.

Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, is a healthy role model for young women, regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum. Here is a woman who can kick ass and take names, even while her opponents are commenting on the color and style of her jacket. She is a woman who sends a message I'd like my daughters to hear, regardless of where our votes go. Senators Obama and Clinton both being viable candidates for the White House tells my daughters - and my son - that women and people of color are leaders, leaders who have a realistic chance of leading this country. That's one hell of a message. So when candidates whore themselves out to the Tyra Banks show for votes, I'm disappointed. Come on, Senator, have some pride.

What's next, Springer?

Sadly, I'm still undecided at this late date. I was nailing down the issues and my opinions until recently, when all this bullshit bickering started, along with pandering to whomever they think will be most beneficial. I know that's to be expected, but still. This nonsense about the "racism issue" just makes me sick. Both Obama and Clinton should know better. They DO know better, and I absolutely hold them to a higher standard. (Higher even than I do Tyra, if you can imagine that.) Using Dr. King's name in that way, bandying the charge of racism about, not for positive dialogue in any real way, but to score points ... they should both be ashamed of themselves. It's inexcusable. After the hijinx of this last week, I'm back to feeling unsure of whose button I'll punch in that booth. And I most certainly will not be tuning into The Tyra Banks Show to help me make my choice.