FOX Noise: Lincoln-Douglass Debates

I'm a bit late to this party, as it's already out on the Internets, and our man Keith Olberman already busted this out on the airwaves, but it was too good to pass up.

You all remember when Hillary Clinton challenged Barack Obama to some good old fashioned, unmoderated, Lincoln-Douglas style debating? Now, I assumed she was referring to this:

The Lincoln-Douglas debates were a series of 7 political debates that took place across Illinois in 1858 between Abraham Lincoln and his opponent, Stephen A. Douglas, in the race for an Illinois seat in the US Senate.

Apparently, the folks at FAUX News were a mite confused at the Douglas part of that deal, as seen in their "reporting" of Senator Clinton's suggestion:

This is the split-screen from the FOX version:





Oh yes they did.

The Douglass to which they referred, of course, is Frederick Douglass -- abolitionist, author, lecturer, newspaper publisher, international traveler, former slave. Black man.




And here on the right, we have Stephen Douglas, Abraham Lincoln's opponent in the aforementioned debates. Senator, pro-slavery politician, racist, unsuccessful presidential contender. White man.

Different guys. Different beliefs. Different locations. Different jobs.

Hey FOX, I'm pretty sure Stephen is your man.

Of course, this begs the question: are the folks at FOX really that ignorant? Did they seriously think that Lincoln debated Frederick Douglass in a series of debates that focused largely on the issue of slavery? Did they really not know the difference between these 2 radically different men? Did they simply not pay attention? Not catch it?

Or, some proffer, did they do it on purpose?

Neither would surprise me. Lord knows that the "history" taught in our schools is Eurocentric and leaves a whole lot of information out. I can certainly believe a future FOXer could make it to graduation without having more than a vague recollection of Frederick Douglass's name. On the other hand, I can also believe they'd pull that shit on purpose.

I just continue to marvel at the fact that the conservatives expect people to take FOX seriously as a news source.

Soldier of Fourtune

Okay, I'm still behind on this meme thing. People, I have no problem being tagged as long as you all don't have a problem with a possible months-long lag time. Also, with me not remembering who the hell tagged me for what. If I don't write it down, there's really no point in deluding myself as far as remembering jack shit about the details.

I do remember one thing about this particular meme, thanks to Sling. No, he's not the one who tagged me (you know who you are. I don't), but he added one bit to it that, well, just needed to be added.

Anyway, here's the Four Things I've Whatevered In My Life meme:


Four jobs I've had in my life (prior to this one and other than "mom"):
1) Chief bottle-washer, camp store operator, and porta-potty cleaner at church camp
2) Top Secret communications bitch in the US Army.
3) Telemarketer. (double shifts of saying the same script for the Sears Credit Protection Plan. Over and over and over and over and over and...)
4) Human Resources manager


Four movies I would watch/have watched over and over:
1) Chocolat
2) The Birdcage
3) Charlie's Angels (Shut up. I know.)
4) The Bodyguard. (hahaha! Kidding, people, kidding.)


Four places I have lived:
1) Junction City, KS
2) Hillsboro, OH
3) Ludwigswinkel, Germany
4) Kaposvár, Hungary


Four people I want to bitch-slap right into the middle of next week!: (thanks, Sling.)
1) Gee-Dubya
2) Email spammers
3) Hillary Clinton
4) Tyra Banks


Four people who email me regularly:
1) a woman I used to work with who send lots and lots of FWD'd messages. Rose of Friendship. Jokes. Teddy Bear Hug Chain. Like that.
2) My mom. Sometimes "real" emails (love it), more often political and religious emails in the hopes of bringing me back to the fold. (shoot me now.)
3) Red*
4) Al*
*until I turned into a slackass non-blogger non-emailer.


Four places I have visited:
1) Monastir, Tunisia
2) Tuzla, Bosnia
3) New Orleans, LA
4) Crater Lake, OR


Four TV shows I watch:
1) Brothers & Sisters
2) Medium
3) Moonlight
4) Wife Swap (Shut up. I know.)


Four favorite foods:
1) Burritos
2) Vegetable Korma
3) Any kind of pasta
4) Potatoes in any form


Four places I'd like to be right now:
1) Lake Balaton, Hungary, with a cold beer and a slab of grilled fish
2) Cheers, Kaposvár, Friday night with the old crowd
3) The coast of Spain, Italy, Brazil -- anywhere hot and sunny.
4) My old terrace in Hungary, about 11pm on a hot clear night, in the green chair with a cold beer and still-warm tiles under my bare feet.


Four things I'm looking forward to this year:
1) Indigo Girls summer concert
2) winning the Mega-Millions
3) summer
4) wow, this one's harder than I thought. I need to get a life...


So there you go.

Come Rock Out With Me

Some of you feared I had met some unfortunate end. Most of you - generous, kindly souls that you are - assumed I've actually been engaging in something called "having a life".

Well, I wouldn't exactly go that far. It's not like I've been getting laid or anything.

Things have just suddenly gotten insanely busy. Deadlines at work. Pretty insane there. But mostly my advocacy group has pretty much exploded into activity. Too much to write about, but suffice it to say we're getting a taste of some minor fame. Not fortune though. Damn. Interest from the state superintendent (I got to be on a conference call w/ her), upcoming presentation to one of the WA state House committees, 2 upcoming award ceremonies and rumors of a third, requests from surrounding school boards, even an invitation to co-sponsor some community forums with established ("real") community organizations. Which will mean our name on flyers and posters, and more connections. Pretty cool. Best of all, though, all that means people are listening, which means better things in store for the kids.

So yeah. Either we're friggin' geniuses and the Obama campaign should snap us up and start paying us the big money, or, more likely, there is an incredible heretofore unmet need for what we're doing.

Yeah. The latter. I know.

Anyway, I've been breathing this stuff lately, so I'm not writing more about that. And I'm feeling the brevity tonight, people. Shocking, I know. So, in keeping with that rare event, here are a few bullets from the last few weeks of my life:


--- My gutter was finally felled by the heavy, wet issue of a freak snowstorm, trapping my car in the garage. We tried to cut it down with a branch trimmer, but couldn't get the leverage. Male Offspring wrenched it out of the way so I could get the car out. Our house looks like an ad for that "You might be a redneck if..." deal. I haven't had time to research finding someone to fix it who won't rip me off.

--- The Bohemian is considering becoming a drag king.

--- The first issue of my group's joint newsletter with the district will be coming out in May. You should've seen all the editing going back and forth on that venture, let me tell you. Our side had to go out for margaritas after final approval. It's going out to all district parents as an insert in individual schools' newsletters. Shit, meet fan.

--- Teen Demon broke up with her boyfriend. A couple of months ago.

--- My house looks like shit.

--- OK, I was up late computering into the wee hours one night, TV mindlessly blaring in the background. The Bodyguard came on, you know, with Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston? I know. It was either that, religious shows, or FOX. Anyway, something weird happened: Kevin Costner seemed so goddamned appealing to me. WTF? Seriously, not a Kevin Costner fan, here. I mean, I don't hate him, but just ... meh. So what the hell? I finally figured it out. It was the whole superman thing. Whitney did not have to worry about one goddamn thing with Kev around. The man took care of business. Didn't make a big deal about it, just took care of business. He had Whitney's back. Was prepared for every possible contingency. That's hot. I have too much shit going on. You can bet Whitney's gutter wouldn't stay wrenched over onto her porch, looking like hicksville. Not with the Bodyguard on the job. Hell no.

Anyway, that freaked me out. Kevin Costner now, people. Weird.



--- Teen Demon cleaned her room. I may post pictures. You have no idea how huge that is.

--- Male Offspring is becoming a Guitar God, thanks to Guitar Hero. I suck ass at it. It's a weird society we live in, when you're working away out in the living room and you get a text message from your son. Who's in the next room. Playing with a toy guitar. "Come rock out with me." I think that might be Teenspeak for "I sorta like, love you, Mom, I guess." He also kicked my ass at Guitar Hero. I don't actually "rock out", per se. It's more like a frenzied plinking.

--- Teen Demon's prom dress arrived today. She tried it on, complete with accompanying jewelry. She looked stunning. Like she walked out of some 1940s movie. Her girlfriends got dresses the same day. They haven't settled on dates yet.

Me: You girls could just all go together -- you've done that before, you always have so much fun doing that.

TD: (looking down at the dress) Yeah right! A date is an accessory that this dress needs.

--- I had to file a tax extension.

--- The Bohemian made it into the Chicago Tribune. For protesting the IRS. They quoted her full name, the fact that her mother, a former soldier, was fully supportive of her protesting the war in Iraq, and that she was even wearing her mom's Army pants. Fuck. If my broke ass gets audited, I'll grow a long arm and choke that child.

--- I'm dangerously close to bitchslapping Hillary for her antics. I'm seriously getting sick of it.

--- An old army buddy we hadn't seen since Male Offspring was 6 months old came to visit another old army buddy whom we hadn't seen since before Male Offspring existed, and who, it turns out, lives less than an hour north of me. We all had dinner together the night of the freak snowstorm. They live in a tiny Georgia town. They brought their 3 kids, only 1 of whom existed last I saw them. The kids had never before been on an airplane. It was great to see them, but very weird.

--- I am way too fucking young to be saying shit like, "It's been almost 20 years since I saw Albert," Aren't I? That's the kind of shit my parents say. Fuck.


So anyway, that's a snapshot. OK, fine, it's not brief overall, but considering that normally I could drag any one of those tidbits into a fullblown rambling post, I think it's pretty goddamned impressive. OK. I think I'm going to bed "early" for once, though.

Dissent

I'm back. I'm so glad we went. It made a measurable, concrete difference. You know when you're on a jury, and most of the jurors think the verdict is obvious, but there are those few holdouts for justice whom the other jurors want to strangle and leave for the rats? Like that.

Now I need to sleep for a week to recover from Cognitive Overload.

Ooh! Ooh! Pick Meme! No, Don't ...

So I've been reminded on more than one occasion that I am derelict in my memery. As in meme-ery. I've been tagged a couple of times in recent weeks months, agreed to do it, then ... well, let's just say the road to completed memes is paved with good intentions. On some of these, I was tagged by more than one person, so hopefully I'm snagging several birds with one meme.

Here's the first one: Seven Weird Facts About Me. I know what you're thinking. "Damn, that should take Cowbell about 7 seconds. She's pretty weird." The problem is perception. What is weird? And how do I choose 7 things?

1) I have a weird little toe on my left foot. My sister dubbed it "Shrimp Toe" in our childhood years. It looks like a pink curled shrimp. I'm talking popcorn shrimp, people. The little worthless ones. It doesn't really move much. It's more like a vestigial toe than a real one.

2) I still kind of think my stuffed animals are alive. Of course, logic tells me this can not be, and I realize that they are, in fact, sewn together of cotton and fake fur, but ... still. I can't rid myself of the idea that they somehow have feelings. I can never throw a stuffed animal away. Not even the cheap icky ones that you win at the carnival. I feel guilty about it. (I even felt guilty writing "cheap" and "icky".) The most I can do is give those unfortunate souls to Value Village and tell myself they will be adopted by some little child who love them. Like the Velveteen Rabbit.

3) In that vein, I sleep with a large polar bear named Bed Bear. He has beans in his feet which make him comfortably heavy, and he has a nice expression. I picked him out of a huge bin of bears in Tesco at Christmastime, particularly for his expression (he called to me), and paid the princely sum of $25 for him -- a fortune for a stuffed animal by Hungarian standards. He is due for the washing machine, which makes me nervous, though he always comes out fine.

4) Now you've got my brain going on the stuffed animal track: When I was four, my grandparents gave me a stuffed panda with a red sweater for Christmas. He remained my favorite stuffed animal, kind of like kids do with their MySpace #1 slot nowadays. I took Panda to Basic Training with me, and he followed to my job training (AIT) where he became our room mascot. My roommates once kidnapped him and left a ransom note. I paid it. He is now fragile, and still has a Bandaid I put on his ripped ear decades ago, because I hate sewing.

5) I can not watch movies or read books that are heavily focused on the devil or Satan worship.

6) I abhore shopping. Of any kind. I'll eat that can of peas from the back of the cabinet before going to the grocery store.

7) I can wiggle my eyes. It's almost like they vibrate. It's fun to freak people out by wiggling them for just a couple seconds with a straight face, then act like nothing happened.


OK. One down ... two to go. Crap. I'm not tagging, but I love to read weird facts, so feel free to throw some up in the comments. Consider it your "I didn't tag your ass" tax.


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Now, in reference to #6, I have to go to the mall now. Crap. It enrages me to even write that. God I hate shopping, you have no idea how much I hate shopping. I'm sitting here writing a meme rather than shop, mmm-kay?

I have to find some pants that aren't falling apart to take to this conference, because I'm thinking jeans and sweatshirt may not be the the general attire for the week, and I'm down to one (that's 1) pair of work pants that still fit my burgeoning ass, and they're probably not long for this world. I had to color some of the threads with a black Sharpie before our presentation. Those kind of pants. Since my room will most likely not be equipped with a washer and dryer, I need some new pants.

The washer would probably wash out the Sharpie, so I'm screwed either way.

It was part of my plan, see, to get down to nothing that fits me so I'd be forced to get off my ass and lose some weight, or go naked, which will never happen in my current state and in this climate. Never, ever buy Fat Pants, or your ass will expand to fit them, that's a cardinal rule. I'm pretty sure there's a scientific formula that covers that. And yes, I am fully aware that as a fully aware woman who rails against the fucked up standards of beauty in this country, I am not supposed to give a shit about surface bullshit or use the term "Fat Pants", but hey, lecture me another day. I have to go the mall right now, and I can't handle both.

And let me tell you, if I have to go into Lane Bryant today, you bitches are not even going to want to deal with me. Your monitor may glow red just from clicking on my site alone, such will be my rage in that case. I'm just giving you fair warning, because I will be in one foul mood if I'm holding onto a pair of pin-striped plus-sizers with a price tag by this evening.

If you hear yet another report of mall violence tonight, don't be so quick to flip the channel ... send bail money.

Sleep is for Pansies

I keep thinking I'm going to have time to update. Also, monkeys could fly out of my ass. So here's the quick and dirty run down. Probably more dirty than quick. (No, RG, it does not involve a lascivious tryst.)

Things with my advocacy group are snowballing -- so much so that I will not be using the name of the group in this blog, lest my secret identity be outed to the locals who've been asking the Googles about us. Not just the locals, actually, as we're garnering notice in ever widening circles. Apparently our work has been creating a buzz in the surrounding school districts. This was news to us. Anyway, it's like these lines we've cast out are suddenly all being reeled in at once. Exciting, but tiring.

So we got invited to present at the county N@@CP meeting, which surprised us, but not as much as the invitation to have dinner beforehand with Dr. NameWithheld (Googlers), one of the state superintendents, and the keynote speaker. Best come up with another PowerPoint, wheee.

Every surrounding school district had sent their brass to the meeting. (You could pick most of them out ... the white guys in suits.) We got a lot of positive comments afterward, even from the aforementioned brass, so I'm hopeful about that.

Before the meeting ended, the governor's appointee to the State Commission on Hisp@nic Affairs took the microphone and said, "Ladies get ready for your phone to start ringing, because I will be using you as model ... at the state level,"

What?

Dr. NameWithheld spent a lot of time talking with us at dinner and after the meeting, gave us a lot of good insights, and said he would also be using us a model.

Not long afterward, he called our superintendent to "congratulate him on the wonderful work" happening in our district. Our super was apparently quite "honored" to be working with us. I just bet he was, with Dr. NameWithheld on the line!

Also, we later received an invitation from him to apply for a state committee working to set standards for alternative assessments to the W@SL. That is the statewide standardized test, now required to graduate, put in place and driven by our boy GeeDubya's No Child Left Behind act, so you can imagine how effective and beloved it is. Anyway, there are all kinds of issues there, but it's really important that there be people on the committee representing the perspective of diverse students.

So, two of us applied, and will be in Olympia most of next week at the invitation of Dr. NameWithheld. The second-best part? There is an honorarium, a decent one, plus all expenses, so for the first time I'll be paid in dollars as well as the intangible payoffs for doing this work. (Also makes it worth using the vacation days.)

One thing I'm really excited about is that we are working with our district, surrounding districts, and community organizations to bring this to our county for the first time ever.

Anyway, the group has been taking up so much of our time, but we're making contacts and things are really starting to grow.



Also, tomorrow is Caucus Day. No, I have not moved to Pennsylvania, tomorrow is the day that WA state Dem delegates will continue the process of moving Barack Obama into the White House. No, I'm not being presumptuous -- Sen. Obama took every single county in the state, so WA's role will indeed be assisting him to that end.

I've made a decision the past couple of weeks though; I'm not going to be gunning for a slot at the National Convention. I'd been committed to fundraising and shameless self promotion, anything to be part of that history, but I've had to rethink things. As a good friend said recently, there are millions of people across the country helping Sen. Obama, but only four of us steering this advocacy group, and it's really starting to take hold. The students in our district need this work, and there aren't millions out there volunteering for them or sending in huge amounts of fundage, I'll tell you that right now.

But you know, Barack Obama himself feels very strongly about community organizing, and his history of community work is one reason I believe so strongly in him. So, tomorrow's the end of the glory road.



Also, Male Offspring and Teen Demon purchased Guitar Hero, so my house is filled with the strains of "rocking out". A far cry from the days of the Bohemian's Chopin filling the house, but hey, I'm flexible. Slow Ride is my song. I'm pretty sure it's the easiest one. Even so, my rockometer sometimes dips into the red. The other night we had nine teenagers in the house "rocking out" and watching teen movies. Yes, actually, Teen Demon did clean her room for the first time in over a year so that she can have people over. It took many days, but she did it. Don't worry, I have before pics. Anyway, every mother loves quality time with her kids, right, but while phrase, "Hey, why don't you come rock out with me for a while?" may be music to my ears, my attempts on the "guitar" are not.


So, between the group, home, Guitar Hero, and the end of the fiscal year at work fast approaching, things are feeling as though they're bordering on the insane, not to mention a bit out of control. It's a good kind of out of control, though.

It's like my life has two modes of operation:
Mode 1) Ain't Shit Going On
Mode 2) I Need a Clone
I am currently in Mode 2.*


So next week I'll be in Olympia. Not sure what the WiFi situation will be. Also, I will be operating via The Brick, my ancient laptop, rather than Teen Demon's speedy machine of several tech generations later, so who knows how that will go. It's got one of those removable external WiFi cards. I'm surprised I don't have to carry a modem for the damned thing.

Time to grab three hours of sleep before the alarm goes off. I'm going to need an IV caffeine drip.


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*Disclaimer: Issues with This Old Motherfucking House can crop up in either mode. Ain't Shit Going On refers to the social and professional aspects of my life, and trust me, TOMFH can pop up with an exploding oven while I'm experiencing a dearth of activity in social and professional arenas.

Unnatural Causes for the Rest of Us

Tonight's the night. Regular folks can now catch part 1 of PBS's series, Unnatural Causes tonight at 11pm (PST). If that's too late, it also airs Saturday at 1pm (PST). No HDTV needed! This is the 4-part series addressing health inequities in the US that I wrote about last week. Please consider tuning in, it's supposed to be a fantastic program.

That's the info about tonight, now on to the related rant:

The viewing schedule has been a bit confusing. I was all stoked to watch it last Tuesday, at the convenient time of 7pm. I saw the little "HD" added to the listing, and assumed that meant that if you had HDTV, you'd get to watch a sharper more detailed version of the show, while the untechnologied masses would see the same old dull and fuzzy picture we've always had. (which has always worked just fine for me, by the way.)


That was not the case.

When a cynical friend reported that it was not showing up on our local TV listings, I called PBS to find out why. I was informed that the initial airing was for HDTV customers only. Well, la-dee-fucking-da. So if you were somehow squeaking through life with regular cable or, godforbid, the doomed technology of analog, you were out of luck last week.

I told my local PBS station (I'm talking to you, KCTS Seattle, Channel 9) that I found it quite ironic they would air this fantastic program addressing socio-economic and racial disparities in health, yet make it available only to the wealthier set among us.

What's up, PBS?

I'm thinking that the people who are most affected by these socio-economic and racial inequities do not, in large numbers, enjoy the benefits of HDTV. I know my ass sure as hell can not afford HD anything. Even the picture in my bathroom mirror is framed in old school wood-grain from the 80's. Further, the PoFolks' version airs at 11pm on a weeknight. I'm also thinking that a large majority of people who can not afford HDTV are hard working people who might be too damned tired to tune in at 11pm on a weeknight. How come the HDTV folks got to watch it earlier?



What I'm really thinking though, is this is just one more subtle step in the cable companies' quiet drive to roll high-end costly options into what they call "basic service". See, I view HD as a luxury, not a necessity. Hell, I view most of the hundreds of channels I get in my basic cable package as a luxury and not a necessity. Remember when basic cable really meant basic cable? Limited, but cheap.

Nowadays, "basic" cable runs $50 a month and includes individual channels for bass fishing, QVC shopping, and other worthless crap. I do not fish for bass, nor do I purchase bric-a-brac from QVC. The bass fishing channel is the albatross of my cable package.

Why can't Comcast and their ilk offer custom packages? Custom, of course, meaning customized according to the needs of the consumers who are paying for them. I would be happy as hell to have a package that included PBS and the NFL channel, but did not include QVC or Outdoor Life. That, however, would benefit the customer, not Comcast's bulging pockets, so it will probably never happen. When a customer feels that basic cable means 22 channels as opposed to several hundred, it's harder to justify charging her $50 a month for "basic cable", isn't it?



The NFL, many of you will be pleased to know, created an NFL channel last year. I know, exciting, right? When it first came out, it was available in my basic cable package. Then it disappeared. Turns out my cable company (that would be you scumsucking bastards at Comcast) pulled it from the basic line up and rolled it into a "for pay" sports package. To get it, customers must 1) upgrade from basic cable to the digital package, and 2) also pay for the new sports add-on. Why? Because the NFL channel didn't have a broad enough audience base to support it being offered (for free) in the basic line up.

Excuse me?

The NFL channel does not have the viewer base to support it, but the fishing & hunting channel does? Please. I call bullshit. The NFL fan base in this country is huge. In fact, I'm betting that a goodly portion of the hunting/fishing crowd are included in that fan base. I'm also betting that a much smaller portion of NFL fans are bass fishers. I'm sure I could draw some bastardized Venn diagram to illustrate that, or get Leonard Nimoy to verify that Comcast's position is not logical, but Comcast wouldn't care. Because they know good and goddamned well that there is a huge NFL fan base in this country, which is exactly the point: they stand to make a shitload of money off of that fan base.

Why give your customer something for free if you can convince them to pay for it?



So the HDTV thing? Same deal. Mark my words, Missy, the cable companies will slowly and quietly work it so HD becomes the norm, not a luxury. They will keep pulling stunts like this, and I'm betting there will come a day when a wonderful informative program like tonight's offering will be offered only to the HDTV crowd. Not as in "offered to them this week, and you can watch it next week", but offered only to them, period. You want to see it? Get up off some dollars. Upgrade your cable subscription and purchase the compatible equipment.

Now that's bad enough when it comes to me missing a playoff game (oh yes they did) that was broadcast on the NFL channel because I have not paid for a sports package, but if it gets to the point where informative and educational programming is only available to those who can afford it, that's where I really develop a case of the ass.

So tune in tonight or Saturday afternoon while you can folks; right now this information is still considered "public broadcasting", but next year, who knows.


Photo Credit: Michael Sears