Puke & Rally!
The son is projectile vomiting.
He woke up seemingly fine this morning, and was skillfully working my nerves about getting his driver's permit (St. Christopher, I'm ready to believe in you.), when I suggested we go pick up cinnamon rolls and coffee cream. Then things took a turn for the worse.
Male Offspring: If I had my permit, I could drive, and you could go in the store.I made him ginger & chamomile tea to settle his stomach. "Sip it slowly," I said, for the ten-thousandth time since drawing that first placebo of a Lamaze breath two decades ago. "I know," he replied, chugging it. Three minutes later the tea was hurled into the toilet with a force that made me suspect the boy was on performance-enhancing steroids.
Me: If you had your permit, you'd be a sophomore. Oh ... you're a freshman. Sorry. Let's go.
MO: I seriously don't want to go to the store.
Me: Cinnamon rolls? Please. Lets go.
MO: [whining] My stomach feels weird.
Me: You look pretty normal to me. No fever, no swelling. Seriously, you're not driving, son.
MO: Landon's driving.
Me: Sophomore.
MO: [walking to the bathroom] Yeah, but he had his permit when he was a ...................BRRRAAAAUUUGGGHHH...........
He's in the bathtub now, mere inches from the toilet. Four episodes of hurling. Dry hurling. The boy can't even keep water down. The offspring and the dogs all have one thing in common: emergency medical situations or extreme illnesses only occur on weekends or holidays. Anything after 5pm on Friday is fair game. In this instance though, I'm not really worried. Not yet, anyway.
Male Offspring is affectionately known as the 24-hour kid when it comes to getting sick. He'll pop up with some serious projectile vomiting, or bust out with a 103.5* fever until you can practically see green ickiness wafting from his pores. During these times, the boy will be seriously sick. Until the next morning, when he wakes up feeling fairly close to fine. It's like he takes a normal 5-day sickness and condenses it into this fevered, mondo-puke-o-rama deal.
So I'm hoping he'll feel better by tomorrow. If not, it's off to the urgent care weekend clinic. Whee. As for me, I'm still coughing like a smoker in LA, even though I (finally) am feeling better. The cough just will not leave. I'm thinking I need to cast it out like the devil, with some sort of cough exorcism ritual. I'm finally starting to get caught up at work though, and am actually cleaning the house this weekend. Brain and body have just been operating in such a fog this year; I feel like one of those gross hairy moths emerging from a cocoon of illish yukkery. I'm so ready for spring, both within and and without.
In better news, this is the weekend when I can finally take Batman out for a walk. Tomorrow is Day 28 of his captivity. I haven't been able to let him run since he hurt his leg, four excruciatingly long weeks ago. You try keeping 70 pounds of crazy locked up for 4 weeks. 150 pounds, if you count Mason. Honestly though, I have to say he's been a very good dog considering he's been imprisoned for the past month.
Anyway, I've been trying to get around to everyone's cyberspaces and sling some comments around, but the online stuff has been flagging along with everything else. Such is life. Spring is coming though, and hopefully a big ol' batch of healthy for everyone along with it.
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UPDATE:
As hoped, the son is no longer feverish, no longer hurling. The 24-hour kid strikes again. He is asking for a taco and burrito dinner tonight. Always a good sign.
22 comments:
vicks on the bottom of your feet for the coughing..
oh man..a cooped up dog and a puking kid...goddess bless you...
Here's to the speedy recovery of the Male Offspring and to the joy of that long-awaited WALK! OH BOY! A WALK! WALKING! PURE UNADULTERATED BLISS! GODDAMN, I FUCKING LOVE WALKS!
Heh ...
It must be in the air. I have been doing some serious housecleaning today. So far, I have vacuumed up at least 3 cats worth of hair. The problem of course, if you've been a little lax for say the past 24 months, the more you clean the more you see that needs to be cleaned. Sigh! Back to it.
I hope Hurl Boy has lost his super powers by now.
I hope he feels better and you too! Sickness is all around here as well... why do kids insist on their sharing illnesses and not their money or chocolate?
YDG: Vicks on the bottom of my feet? What?
Red: He's fine today, and asking for burritos. Go figure. And now the problem is getting ME motivated enough for a walk ... if only the sun would come out. Right now my feather blankets are much more appealing.
Evil-G: Yes, he's lost his super hurling powers. The 24-hour kid strikes again. And I fizzled out on the cleaning yesterday. I guess I don't have all my energy back after all. I have a feeling there's a dog's worth of hair up in my room though. Blech.
Professor: Ha! Yeah, I'm just hoping he hasn't passed that crap on to me, because I tend to need a lot longer than 24hrs to deal with those things.
Why do I see Batman bouncing around like the little guy with Spike in the old Warner Bros Cartoon. Walk! Walk! Yeay we going for a walk mom! Yeah you gonna take me for a walk! Hey Mom! Yeah gonna take me for a walk!
The excitement knows no bounds.
Glad Super Hurler is feeling better - nothing worse.. well yeah there is but lets not go into that here.
Sorry to hear about the cough.
I know how you feel because I'm going through the same thing. I just checked the exact dates: I was off work February 26-28 - but I'm still coughing in the mornings and at night. Like a smoker in LA, I'll remember that expression.
Shoot, I forgot to say I'm glad the projectile vomiting Olympics are over.
I don't know about Vicks on the feet but when I was a kid before Vicks was around it was Ben Gay on my chest with a flannel "rag" from old pj's and then alcohol on the chest in the morning to "close your pores" and off to school I went...with little blisters on my chest...buy I swear that stuff grows boobs...really. I use Vicks now...has been excellent for birth control I hear. I have a 24 hour barf kid too.
Last time I experienced a 24 hour hurl,I was passing a kidney stone.
Take Batman for a walk!..Pretending you feel good might fool you into believing it.
Spastic dogs and puking son.. hey! I had that week too!! Actually it was hacking the head off, not puking- fer a dang week. Poor kid.
Glad the boy is better! If he's after burritos it indeed must be over. Now go lysol the hell out of every door knob in the house.
There is nothing exactly like the sound of a kid vomiting, is there? And it's absolutely unmistakable. And the feeling of running toward the sound as you simultaneously want to run away..... Ah the joys of motherhood.
Willym: He was SO excited. I took him and Mason on a 2-miler -- on leash for the most part, I want to make sure he's truly OK before I really let him go free. He was one happy dog, let me tell you. Then they got to the pet store - even better.
SK: You know, it seems people all over the place are getting this ugly thing. And everyone is relapsing, and the lung stuff and lack of energy just hang on like a dog with a good bone. Today was the first active thing I've done in weeks and weeks.
Rosemary: The smell of Ben-Gay immediately takes me back to Basic Training. OMG but we used the hell out of some BenGay. Actually, there are 4 things that take me back to Basic: BenGay, Kiwi shoe polish, Brasso (brass polish), and the oil used to clean weapons. But damn, if I'd have known that BenGay contributes to breast growth, I'd have been applying that shit in a whole different way. Who knew?
I bet Vicks does work as birth control, ha! My grandma used to slather the Vicks on me when I had a cough. Vicks still makes me think of her. Along with Halo shampoo, which unfortunately is no longer made, but smells wonderful.
SlingStone: Yikes!! Never had the pleasure, but I've heard it's excruciating. Passed 3 kids, though. Walk accomplished -- puppies sleeping soundly. Mason even got a bath. My back couldn't deal with doing 2, so Batman's will have to wait.
Doralong: I think the whole planet is hacking up bits of lung tissue this winter. And we did do tacos for dinner, but he only ate 3 ... guess the stomach is still feeling a bit fragile.
E: Oh yeah, and I tell you what, the son gives a whole new meaning to the world "hurl". I'm surprised the force doesn't slam him backwards into the wall. He's old enough now that he doesn't want me running toward the sound of his pukery. I have to strike a careful balance of proper concern without hovering. You never ever imagine that you'll miss the days when they let you hold their foreheads in the midst of chunk blow out. Ah, those were the days!
Glad to hear that he's doing better. Tacos and Burritos are a sure sign of a happier stomach, well, at least until he eats them.
LOL! I'm sorry. I hate that he was sick but find it funny that after puking he wants Mexican food.
Look up in sky! Is that a plane? No! It's Hurl Boy - fighting injustice and his mother's reluctance to let him get his driver's permit one power boot at a time! Taco hurl is particularly pretty - think of it as a technicolor yawn!
How's that baseboard dusting coming along?
Bwaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
A moth? Nah, more like an iron butterfly, all cynical and tough but with a heart of gold inside and all...just like in the cartoons!
(The ones in my head, anyway)
KA: Oh, he's right as rain now. I always hated that saying...
Whim: Yeah ... he keeps me laughing, that one. A regular chuckle buster.
RG: Technicolor yawn! Blech! My baseboards look fine. as long as youdon't run your finger along it.
Allan: Hey, I like that!
Glad the guy is back to health. He and I were probably simultaneously hurling, as I had food poisoning at the very same time. It's never fun trying to decide which end should be hanging over the bowl at any moment. Hope you and Batman enjoyed your walk! More pictures of insane canines please.
Tater -- ohno, sorry to hear you were paying homage to the porcelain god as well. Hope all is well now. I recommend tacos.
Actually I did take some pics of the boys, and was just thinking it was about time for another chapter of canine chronicles.
Glad the boy is recovering. Hope you follow suit soon.
at least he made it to the bathroom.
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