Felled by a Bug

UPDATE BELOW

The Bohemian is sick.

I mean really sick. As in they had her hooked up to an IV and she had to get 2 shots and 3 prescriptions. She has mono AND "something similar to strep". And she's on the other side of the damn country. She can't eat and can barely talk. She doesn't even have a roommate this year, so she's just by herself in her room, now that they've released her. Some of you know that last year's roommate was Satan's daughter, the TV Addict, but right now, I'd be grateful for someone who could look over every once in a while and hold a mirror under her nose, maybe bring her a cup of friggin' tea.

One of the prescriptions is actually a steroid to bring down the swelling in her throat and tonsils, because apparently, they look something like this. Welcome to mono, folks. Yeah, horrid. No wonder the poor kid can barely swallow water.

I was researching same-day Fed-Ex deliveries at about $150 (WTF?) when my sensible friend suggested checking grocery store deliveries. So by noon tomorrow the daughter should be up to her ears in Gatorade, soups and broths, chocolate nutrition shakes, ibuprofen, pomegranate throat lozenges, Nighttime Airborne, some other shit that I don't remember, and a thermometer. Yeah, I sent my kid off to college without a thermometer, and we're just now realizing it.

Of course, the delivery man will not make her soup or bring her a cool washcloth or fix the lights or make sure she drinks enough or that she has enough blankets or that her fever isn't too high. What good is he, anyway?

Tomorrow morning I'm going to call to her dorm and see if the RA would check on her every once in a while. Although she says the RA for that building is pretty much invisible. -sigh-


You know it's bad when your normally sarcastic, almost-20-year-old "kid" cries before getting off the phone, while trying to squeak out "I miss you".

Fuck.

------------------------------------
Update: Wow this kid is really sick. (Did I tell you they called in the medical students to observe her on Tuesday because "we don't usually see cases this bad?")

First off, the Bohemian's delivery arrived, and she has hydrated herself and ingested some liquid nutrition in the form of Ensure, which is what we used give my Grandma when she was ill. Second, I have spoken a couple of times with the director of her residence hall, a saint among us named Ms. Willis, whom I secretly suspect is some version of fairy godmother. She arranged for the delivery to be taken straight to the Bohemian's room, and said she'll have the RA check on her every few hours. She told me, "Honey, I've got kids myself - if one of mine was that sick and far from home, I'd want somebody to do the same. You just call any time. Ask for Ms. Willis."

It's really hard to hear her sound so awful. I mean, of course she's been sick before, since she left home, even, but nothing like this since that flu swept through Eastern Europe from Russia, and all the schools and businesses were shut down for weeks. We all got it, the Bohemian and I the worst - I seriously wondered if I was going to die. Anyway, this is the sickest she's been since then. That kind of sick.

Background: You have to understand the Bohemian has deemed all Western medicine to be "evil chemicals", and none shall pass her lips. No form of the mildest pain reliever or cold medicine. Not even an ibuprofen for cramps. Instead, she drinks an herbal "women's tea". We have gone around about this for years.

The child will not even take vitamins. I once made her take a multi in front of me. Later I found the soggy mess in a crumpled napkin on top of her piano. She was 17 at the time, not 5. Also, any sort of sugared or "fake" drinks fall into the category of "evil chemicals". Neither do these pass her lips. Third, she particularly hates Gatorade, due to some of their advertising that she found offensive, and will not support them with her $$ even if she did like "fake drinks".


With that in mind, she has taken the IV, shots, and pills without complaint. Last night I explained that Gatorade and Ensure were on their way, along with various meds. Her response? "OK." Uh-oh.

Today, after it arrived, I explained how important it was for her to have the electrolytes and nutrition (she hasn't eaten since Tuesday), and asked for her solemn promise to JUST DRINK THE DAMN STUFF. Her response? A half-hearted "OK."

Later, she informed me she had taken Ibuprofen -- on her own, no suggestion from me -- in addition to her antibiotic dose. Holy Mother of God, my mother was right -- it is the end times.

Yeah. She's sick.