Rick & Steve, Happy and Gay Like You Wouldn't Believe!

I was going to do a proper post on this, even bordering on a review, but time is of the essence, so forget all that and just get thee to a television tomorrow night.

What: Logo's new TV program
Who: Rick & Steve, Happiest Gay Couple In the World
When: Tuesday, 10pm EST
Where: In front of your TV, Logo channel
Why: It rocks

This show is funny as hell. It's based on a film short that was done in the late 90s by Q. Allan Brocka. It takes place in a gay and colorful town known as West Lahunga Beach.

The main characters are Rick, a Filipino genius househusband, and his partner, Steve, a hottie gymgod real estate agent. Rick's best friend, Kirsten, is a lipstick lesbian who's hooked up with Dana, the quintessential mullet-sporting Jewish-American bulldyke. Though Rick and Kirsten are friends, their partners aren't fond of each other, so there is much witty verbal sparring between Dana and Steve. Other friends include Chuck, a wheelchair bound HIV+ older guy, and Evan, his hottie twink houseboy and lovah. There are also Ebony & Ivory, politically correct lesbian couple, whose new baby, Echinacea, is gender-secreted for now, as her-or-his Mommies don't want to impose gender roles on her-or-him.

These are not live action characters, nor are they cartoons a la Homer Simpson and South Park. They are modeled after those plastic kids' toys that come in sets like Pirates, Cowboys, Astronauts and the like. (Parents, you will find them oddly reminiscent of Playmobile people. You know what I'm talking about.) Take a gander:

(all photos from the official Rick & Steve website, happiestgaycouple.com. )

Rick, Steve, and Steve's parents, who are in some serious denial..
(Note the Assembly of God Hairdo on Mom)

Dana & Kirsten. Kirsten is Rick's good friend. Note Dana's rockin' mullet.

Rick and Steve at marriage counseling

Dana & Kirsten with friends Ebony, Ivory, and baby Echinacea.

Evan & Chuck (note erotic art on wall.)

I missed the first 2 episodes, but that shit was so funny my daughter and I found them on YouTube and popped some popcorn. I tried to find the links to the episodes for you, but my slowass computer is not cooperating, and patience is not my virtue tonight. They're there, though, although you have to watch each episode in three 7-minute parts, as you apparently can't upload more than 10 minutes to YouTube or some shit. Worth it though. You can also download the episodes from their website.

You can check out a full review here, and their website here. (scroll down to see each character's description) The website has clips that will make you want to download the full episodes. You can even download wallpaper.

Anyway, check it out if you're around at 10pm (eastern, of course, because those guys are sooo important) Tuesday night. This is some funny shit.

Rudy & The Mittster: Not Down With the Little People

Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani are backing out of the Republican YouTube debates. Check it out here, on their own Charlie-Fox news.

Apparently, they have more pressing engagements than answering actual unscripted questions from the American public. Hmm. Really? Because you'd think, with the Republican party's rep basically being in the toilet, they'd want to give the impression of actually giving a shit about any concerns the American public may have.

And here I was thinking that the Republicans would try to distance themselves from their Clueless Leader, in order to show that it's not the party as a whole that doesn't give a flying fuck about the voice of the people, it's just that chimp with veto power who doesn't give the aforementioned flying fuck.

I stand corrected.

Giuliani cited scheduling conflicts. (You know, I really think I'd find a way to work around those conflicts, Rudy.) Romney had this to say about the debates:

I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman.

Are you kidding me? So the question itself -- how will the candidate address global warming -- is invalidated because the format in which it was asked was creative and memorable? Really?

So this guy holds himself at a "higher level" than having to answer silly questions from the unwashed masses. Wait ... he wants my vote, and he can't even make time to step down and answer a question I might have? Really?

What, does this guy squeeze gold out his ass or something? That is some High & Mighty thinking, right there.

I am disgusted, but not surprised and most definitely not outraged; it only works against him. In my opinion, this is just one more incident illustrating what the Republican party is all about. The rich and elite are the Deciders, and to hell with the rest of y'all, they don't have time for your petty problems, and they sure don't have to answer to anyone.

Romney also said that in the Democratic debates, Senator Obama

... is slowly but surely revealing who he is.

Yeah, Mitt, and your refusal to even step out to that podium is sure as hell revealing who you are. That's ok, because I'm thinking folks will not be impressed. The Mittster may just unwittingly rack up a boatload of votes for the blue side.

You just keep on, Mitt. If the rest of your party is as uptight and Holier Than Thou as you and Rudy and your Boy George, I'm glad I vote blue. Way to represent.

Bumper Sticker of the Day

Oh! I found the other one I had wanted to put up with the "2 Daddies" sticker!

Is that too good or what? You could really piss some people off with that. Fun and games.

Courtesy of Stamp And Shout.

Bumper Sticker of the Day

I didn't actually snap this pic, Dear Camera being ... well, you know.

---moment of silence---

Even so, it was too good not to share.

Is that not great? Piss a Republican off, buy one today!

Then I saw this one, a play on It's Hard Out There for a Pimp, and about spit my coffee. Appropriate, as our Clueless Leader does sport quite a simian appearance, and also because he has his own brand of Hustle and Flow going on.

Courtesy of Stamp And Shout.

Kucinich: Presidential Candidate or Chick Magnet?

Remember when I was pissed off about Hillary Clinton's femininity being an actual issue in the media, and how it doesn't seem to apply to the guys' masculinity? Remember when I asked why no one questions Dennis Kucinich's masculinity?

Now, I threw that out there, not as an attack on Congressman Kucinich's masculinity, but to illustrate the fact that for those candidates with a penis, masculine/feminine characteristics are a non-issue. It's only brought up in reference to candidates with breasts.

I picked Kucinich for that question because he doesn't strike me as one of those hulking macho guys. Not a bad thing -- those guys are usually arrogant assclowns, and sexist to boot. An overdose of masculinity is not a good thing in my book.

But let's face it, Kucinich isn't exactly butching it up. In fact, he has always put me in mind of a friendly gnome. I don't mean that in a disparaging way -- gnomes are pretty cool. (especially Evil ones wearing sexy hats -- you know who you are.) I know, I know: "Right, Cowbell, how you gonna call somebody a gnome and not mean that in a disparaging way? Sounds pretty damn disparaging to me."

I said friendly gnome, people. No mud-slinging here.

In all seriousness, I was impressed with Kucinich during the YouTube debates. I don't think he can win, but I did like his answers. Did y'all know he's from my home state? Yes, I'm originally a Buckeye. That makes us officially "homies", by the way. As in, "My boy Dennis was giving a speech the other day, and ..." Yeah.

Anyway, I think I know why Dennis Kucinich's masculinity is not in question. I give you his wife, Elizabeth Harper Kucinich. No Barbara Bush the Elder here, people. My man Dennis is coupled up with one smokin' hot willowy sylph of a redhead. I mean, damn! Did I say hot? Yes, I did.

She is 29 years old. He is 31 years her senior. She is British, from Essex, a bit New-Agey, and has a tongue-piercing. Oh yes, she does. A First Lady with a tongue-stud? Yes, I think so.

Now I'm not saying that a woman's hotness is a direct indicator of her man's masculinity -- that's for the testosterone-laden hetero males to debate. I'm just saying I now understand why no one is bringing said masculinity into question.

Why doesn't it work both ways, though? I mean, Bill's a good looking guy. Granted, he's not 29, but still a good looking guy. Why hasn't the media decided that yes, Hillary Clinton is sufficiently feminine (whatever the hell that means) based on the appearance of her husband? Goose and gander, here people.

Of course, if Senator Clinton's husband were a 29 year old hottie, it wouldn't exactly work that way, would it? No, it would not. She would not be "taken seriously". Instead of eliciting high-fives and a You Go Girl! from the masses, she would draw scorn and clucking of tongues. She would be called a Cougar at best, a cradle-robbing hussy buying companionship at worst.

There's just no getting around that double standard, is there?

Bastards.

But back to my man Dennis. Damn! Did you all know this? I didn't. They were married in 2005, after only having known each other for about 3 months. By all accounts, they're very close and genuinely in love. They met in Kucinich's office. This according to Common Dreams:

"Elizabeth Harper walked with her boss into Dennis Kucinich's Capitol Hill office for a meeting and immediately noticed three things. In the reception area, she saw a visiting nun in white robes. In his inner office sat a shelf bearing an illustration depicting "light consciousness" and a bust of Gandhi."

Apparently, that piqued her interest, and she emailed him. Within a few weeks, they were engaged, and married 3 months later. I've got to say, most folks wouldn't imagine them to be partnered up, just based on appearance. I mean, this blows the whole Charles and Diana thing out of the water.

Frog Prince my ass. And did I say gnome? My bad.

Elizabeth though, is no princess. She has volunteered in India with orphaned children, and worked in rural Tanzania as an advocate for regional development. She has a masters degree in International Conflict Analysis. She believes their union to based more on substance than form:

It's not like I'm some ditsy young thing and he's an old fogey. He has the wisdom of an ancient and the energy of youth.

Indeed. I am so sure he must have the energy of youth. That vegan diet must be keeping him chock full o' vim and vigor. I'm sorry, but I've got say it, this man has got to be some sort of freak in the sheets. Think about it.


Her thoughts on their height difference -- she is 6' tall:

Who cares? I like wearing high heels, so I’m used to being taller than most men I stand next to.

That's right girl. Strut.


And for all those who say it must be a money thing, Kucinich doesn't lead an extravagant life, comparatively speaking. At the debates the other night, he said he's still living in a working class neighborhood, in the same house he bought 35 years ago. Can't really say the same for John Edwards. I mean, girl could hook up with a lot of younger, hotter rich guys, if that's what she was after.

Like I said, freak in the sheets.

Now I like a lot of what Kucinich has to say. I have concerns about how he would come across with international relations. And really, after this Charlie-Foxtrot of an administration, we need some serious leadership when it comes to international relations.

However ... if Kucinich had this British enchantress heading to the alter after less than a month, the man must have some serious skillz in the international relations department.

Something to ponder.



Photo credits:
1 & 2: kucinich.us
3: Jason Behnken/Tampa Tribune

Debate This.

How many of you all saw the Democratic debates tonight?

So what did you think about the whole YouTube deal? I loved it. Anderson Cooper was the moderator, which was reason enough to watch in my book, but Anderson did not pose the questions.

The questions were asked by John Q. Public, the man on the street, everyman ... and everywoman, since I can't seem to find a gender-inclusive term.

People sent their questions via YouTube videos -- genius! Folks had some really creative video-questions. One guy asked about No Child Left Behind in music video format using a big flip-pad on which he'd written things. His last page said, Scrap it or completely revise it? (Bill Richardson, first off the block, spoke plainly: "I'd scrap it.")

One video had two women, I believe from NY, who basically said, "Hi, I'm Mary, and she's Jen. Our question is if you were elected President of the United States, would you support us being married ...... to each other?" They then looked at each other and back at the camera a couple of times like, "Well? Let's hear it!", drawing a laugh from the audience. (Only Kucinich stepped up as supporting actual marriage -- and strongly.)

There was a snowman asking about global warming. The scene cut to a much smaller snowman, while the narrator asked something like, "What will you do to make sure my son leads a long and full life?"

One guy with a guitar wrote a little ditty about taxes.

A veteran who had burial flags for his father, grandfather and eldest son asked what the candidates would do to make sure he doesn't collect a flag for his youngest son.

One guy specifically asked Senators Obama and Clinton how they will address the critics who say they are not "black enough" or "feminine enough". (Barack Obama: "You know, when I'm catching a cab in Manhattan, I believe I'm given my credentials,")

A Southern Baptist (I believe) pastor asked John Edwards to address the fact that he used his Southern Baptist faith to justify his stance on gay marriage (against it, for civil unions), and did Edwards think it was right to consider faith when making policy decisions. (Edwards: his faith influences his personal beliefs, but he does not believe in basing political decisions on faith.)

One smug and smarmy guy pointedly addressed Senator Clinton as "Mrs. Clinton", and asked her if she considered herself a liberal, and to define the term. (Clinton: considers herself a progressive, not a liberal)

One guy asked if any of the candidates supported reparations for African-Americans, and went on to say that he knew the question would probably have the candidates "dippin' and dodging". (Again, only Kucinich came out in favor of actual reparations.)

One woman asked about health care, and making preventative care more available and affordable. She said she hoped to be a future breast cancer survivor, and pulled a wig off of her bald head.

One young man asked how the candidates would represent athiests and agnostics.

Anyway, I really liked it. The questions were real questions about the things every day folks think about. Things like social security, health care, uneven tax burdens, Iraq, minimum wage, education. The candidates, not knowing what questions were coming, had to stay on their toes.

Some of them seemed nervous. One of them, Mike Gravel, (I'm sorry, who?) was just ... odd. One of the CNN people (Carol somebody) said he "looked kind of like your kooky uncle at Thanksgiving dinner".

That's pretty accurate. Dude was just weird. Very combative, and said things like, "You can now go to Hanoi and get a Baskin-Robbins ice cream cone! That's what you can do!" (That during a ranting comparison of Vietnam and Iraq)

I have to say that Senator Clinton was all about cool confidence. She came across as a leader, especially when one guy -- a soldier in Okinawa, I believe -- asked how she'd expect to be taken seriously as President when Muslim countries would "see her as a second class citizen". She listed high-level people in Arab/Muslim countries with whom she's met, and said something like, "I don't think there's much doubt in anyone's mind that I can be taken seriously," Her delivery was spot on. I believed her.

My thought on that is that this is our country; we're not electing a president to please folks in other countries, we're electing a president to run our country. And to hopefully fix our shit.

Senator Obama did great as well. He seemed to connect easily, and came across as strong and confident. At one point, he started off a sentence saying, "As president, I would ... " and I popped out in goosebumps.

I also have to say, flaming leftwinger that I am, some of Dennis Kucinich's answers kicked ass. I think he's too far left to get elected, by a long shot, but I personally was liking his answers.

Biden talked tough and straight, but ... I don't know. Eh.

It pissed me off though, when candidates would occasionally try to go all sound-bitey, despite Anderson's efforts to get them to answer the damn question or stay on topic. Please guys, we're instantly aware when you switch from answering a fresh question to falling back on your pat self-serving plugs. Even candidates I like and respect did this. Annoying.

Also, giving the "expected answer". Boring. Someone asked if they'd each be willing to do their jobs for minimum wage. Please. All of them tried to sound believable while giving off a chipper "Yes!" or "Sure!". WhatEVER.

Senator Obama finally said it's easy for them all to say yes, because they all have money, but the question is should the average person be living off minimum wage. One of them (Biden, I think) tried to say something about not having Obama's kind of money, and Obama came back with, "You do all right, Joe,"

(And I'm sorry, Joe, but Obama made his money himself, he sure wasn't born into it, and he spent a lot of years as a community activist, working for beans.)

Also, they had to bring up Senator Clinton's clothes. Please! She's damned either way. She was recently called into question for not being "feminine enough". WTF? OK, first people have a problem with a woman president, then she's not feminine enough? If she wears "feminine clothes", that must be commented on. If she showed up in a dark skirt suit in keeping with The Boys, she'd be accused of trying to dress like a man.

Shoot, they'd probably accuse her of being a man.

I'm sorry, but why don't we hear reporters debating whether Kucinich is masculine enough? Well? I mean, come on, people, he's not exactly butching it up, now. Seriously, I have never heard of a male candidate's masculinity being debated.

Bastards.

Well, I had more to say, but it's late, and I'm tired, and the Male Offspring just said he wanted to "tell me stuff" about his night with his friends -- gotta take those when you can get them -- so I'm out of here for tonight.

I liked this YouTube debate format, though. I hope they keep it. The right may have FOX, but looks like the interneters are making their voice heard in a big way.

Group photo: AP/Charles Dharapak

Obama photo: obamarama.org

Gravel photo: AP/Evan Vucci

Kucinich photo: nhpr.org

It's All Fun & Games Until Somebody Puts an Eye Out.

I, apparently, have lost a shitload of childlike wonder over the course of my life.

This was confirmed by watching The Last Mimzy with the offspring the other day. It was a wonderful, magical movie. Any of you who don't agree, please note that I make no claims toward being a good movie or book critic. You want a comprehensive review, you'd best check in with Lorraine or Eric or someone. That is not what this post is about anyway. It is about my reaction to the film, in particular, the aforementioned loss of childlike wonder.

I mean, it's no newsflash that I tend toward the cynical, that sarcasm is actually in my DNA strands, on both sides of the family. I've passed that shit on, too: the offspring are all about a well-timed sarcastic remark.

Little smartasses.

So I'm no Pollyanna. Like I need that warped reality in my life.  Even so, I had a decidedly grown-up reaction to the film. And not in a good way. It seriously annoyed the hell out of me that those kids did not go to an adult, namely their parents, for help. I mean it pretty much pissed me off. I wanted to slap the nincompoopery right out of their heads. I couldn't keep my mouth shut about it. I kept making all kinds of sarcastic comments, like "Dude, it's called a seizure, go get your friggin' MOM!" My kids were like, "See, you're like one of the grown ups in books who can't see magic anymore."

Oh.

This sucks, because when reading books of that nature, don't we all still identify with the protagonist? Don't we all still believe in magic, at least for the time we're lost between the covers of the book? Who wants to identify with the parent who can't see the magic? Or worse, the parent who won't even believe the kids?
Nevertheless, while watching The Last Mimzy, I kept bouncing back and forth between "Ooh, cool!" and "OhmyGAWD, will you go get your friggin' Mom before you put out an eye with that thing?!"

I mean, I'm sorry, but you find something washed up on the beach that is obviously behind some seriously supernatural shit, you don't just slide it under your bed and figure that you, out of all people in the universe, a 5- or 10-year-old child, have a handle on that shit.  Please.  These are the kinds of the kids who will be reaching into bonfires to rescue dud firecrackers in a few years.

Still.  Even the knowledge that I am, of course, absolutely right, did not stop me from being disturbed by my strong reaction. So much so, that I later tried to psychoanalyze myself, with the help of a generous glass of cabernet.  I came to the conclusion that I was basically projecting the Mimzy kids and their safety onto my own offspring. If my kids had also been saying things like "What the hell is that kid doing sticking her arm in there?! Does she want to lose a friggin' hand?!" I probably would've felt better. I could rest comfortably in the knowledge that my own offspring, upon finding some crazy, supernatural shit on the beach, would come to me and say,

Hey, Anyu, come check out this crazy, supernatural shit we found washed up on the beach. It looks kind of cool, but it could be dangerous, and if I disappear through a wormhole or something, I want someone to know what happened so they can bring my ass back. And look, I've put on my helmet.

They would say this, because I've done a bang-up job in raising the little hellions and they are on a bright and successful path to the future, unfettered by the peer pressure of their clueless little friends or the influence of the media.

So not a Pollyanna here, people.

Parenthood drives us out of the magical realm. It transforms us from adventurer to protector. It shows us danger where we once saw only excitement.

Hey, we rationalize, somebody has to watch out for the little angels' best interest, somebody has to safeguard their future, because they're sure as hell not doing it for themselves. They're too busy atomizing body parts in a magic sphere because a magic toy told them it was okay.

Can grownups really not see magic? Is it just the parent thing that does it, or is it all of us? And does it come back, like when we're grandparents, once the protector role has fallen to the parents who were our children? Actually, is that why aunts and uncles and grandparents are "the cool ones", because they can leave the protecting to the fun-sucking parents, and still see the magic?

I wasn't always a grownup.

When I'm with my friends, or lost in my own book, I'm not a fun-sucker. If my kids could've known me as a kid, we'd have had a blast. We could've sneaked down a manhole cover, or climbed out of an elevator between floors, or flown down the steepass hill that was Winding Way Road on a tandem bike with no hands.

It must start with that first, "Hold on tight!" when we reluctantly release the big-girl swing and let her fly out alone, unprotected. The magical realm slips farther away until, by the time she's in another city, riding the metro alone at night, magic is barely visible at all, beyond the threatening mist that surrounds it.

I wasn't always a grownup. I hope it comes back when I'm old.



Mimzy photo credit: popmatters.comGrownups Are Obsolete photo credit: John Tsombikos (graffiti artist, Borf)

Wipeout!

Warning: the following post may contain disturbing images of blood and/or pus, taken with a camera that is not my own. Recommended for mature audiences only.

So the other day at work, my cell phone rings.

If my cell rings while I'm at work, it's usually one of three things: 1) a child with a problem, 2) a child asking permission to go somewhere, or 3) an injured child. So, my cell rings. At work.

Annoying Ring! Annoying Ring!

Me: Hello?

Dear Son: um, Anyu? Can you, I mean, maybe not right now, but on your way home? Could you like, bring some Band-aids?

Me: Son, I just bought Band-Aids. They're in the hall closet.

Dear Son: Yeah but, I mean some really big ones.

Me: What happened?!

Dear Son: No, don't worry, I know you're at work, I'll just tell you when you get home. So can you bring the Band-Aids? Like the biggest size?

What?

Oh. My bad. I was going to worry, but now I'll just get back to that spreadsheet.

What goes through their heads? You don't call your mom at work, drop some shit like, "I need some really big Band-aids, but hey, don't worry!" and expect your mom to just be like, "OK, no biggie, now where was I on that spreadsheet?"

Please.

So when you say really big, do you mean really big as in bigger than the Extra Large Flexible Fabric Knee & Elbow Band-aids that I just bought, and are in the hall closet? Really? Bigger than the ginormous gauze pads that are in said closet, too?

Sure. I won't give that a second thought.

Turns out he had a slight accident on his bike. On his way to the football workout. Trying to jump a curb. My first question was, "Is your head ok?? Were you wearing your helmet?" (Hey, I'm a mom, what do you want?)

It is, and he was.

Tore up both knees and hands, with the right knee being a particularly nasty pus-fest. Big old raspberry with some nice deep cuts embedded with sand and dirt. Wore the hair in that spot down to a fine stubble. Coach sprayed it with some sort of antiseptic spray, and Dear Son sucks it up and benches 170. (That's my boy, right there!)

The pain kicked in later. Along with the swelling and stiffness. That night, Tough Guy asked if I could "get him a crutch."

The boy, bless his heart, tried to treat it before I got home with the really big Band-aids. To his credit, he did wash it. ("All these little bits of rocky stuff rinsed out of there. It was pretty cool," he later informed me.) He then put a gauze pad on it.

With no Neosporin.

No ointment of any kind. Yeah. Between that and the tape ripping his new Manly Leg Hair off like a cheap wax job, he was not a happy camper. Luckily, he had some nice ooze going on, so the gauze pad wasn't permanently fused to his mega-berry.

Here's the medical documentation of The Wound, as he calls it.

Post-wipeout

Mom's Doctorin' Skillz

Second night. Note the nice slick coating.

Who needs the local HMO when you've got Mom's Family Practice, with no deductible OR copay?

The above documentation was, of course, done using kids' cameras. Somehow oozing wound photography just isn't the same, without dear Camera.

A Photographic Tribute to My Camera: Around Town

Various shots from around Seattle.

Houseboats



Heart Rocks



Birds at Sunset




The 60s Live On in Fremont




Folk Life Festival



Fountain Fun



Dancers at Folk Life


Joy
(I just loved these guys)



Hell & Damnation



Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
(Bat-n-Rouge softball game, Dykes v. Drag Queens, Pride kick-0ff)



Our Favorite Drag Queen
(The only one to run the bases in high heels! Go, girl!)



Clouds
(Photo credit: the Male Offspring)



Pike Place Market



Post Alley



Piano Practice
(Summer 05)



Sunset at the Beach

A Photographic Tribute to My Camera: Flora & Fauna

OK, pretty much self explanatory.

The first one is for Sling, inspired by his canine pic.

"Almost!"

Slug

Where's Waldo?

Rhodie Bloom

Bumblebee

Spider

Porch Hounds

Labradogs