I Won! I Won! Penny Candy All Around!
I won the Lottery.
My dad is fond of saying, "A buck's a buck." True, but somehow this win just didn't live up to my dreams of how winning the lottery was supposed to go.
Those of who are long time readers know that I never used to play the lottery, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and all that. The first time I did, probably a couple of years ago, I had to ask the clerk how to buy a ticket. I didn't even know there was more than one kind of lottery ticket. I was raised to avoid throwing away good money on harebrained schemes or useless crap. Of course, that didn't stop me from buying those pink high-top Reebocks in the 80s, but whatever.
Anyway, now I buy tickets probably every other week, if I remember. I spend either $2 and $3, depending how lucky I feel that day. I usually buy one Mega Millions ticket, and one or two regular Lotto tickets. I tell myself that the fantasy value alone is worth it, as it chips away at that chronic financial anxiety and is cheaper than Wellbutrin. Besides, lottery money goes to the state's educational system, so I consider it my contribution to the bright young minds of tomorrow. As Whitney Houston says, I believe the children are our future.
I buy my tickets at the grocery store. Since I'm already getting screwed with the price of eggs, might as well make it a twofer. Anyway, there's a machine at the grocery store that reads your tickets and tells you whether or not you won. Checking one's tickets via this machine has got to be the one of the most disheartening experiences there is. If you do not have a winning ticket, the machine displays the following message in bright red text:
Yeah. Thanks for letting me know that, you little R2D2 wannabe. Look who's talking.
Not "Sorry, Better Luck Next Time!" or even "Sorry, Not a Winning Ticket", no, this damn thing has to aim for the soft spot. Sorry, not a winner. In other words, go home loser, and keep clipping those coupons and buying our shitty store brand.
Anyway, the other day, I checked my Mega Millions ticket, and felt that familiar dejection as the machine silently spewed the familiar refrain, "Sorry. Not a Winner." Then I ran my regular Lotto ticket under the little bastard's red beam and saw something different ...
For just a fraction of a split second, my future flashed before my eyes: a working furnace, travel to hot places, actual retirement! Then I saw the rest of the message:
As the clerk congratulated me, I came down to earth, handed her my ticket, and said, "Yeah, no cash -- I'll just take one Mega Millions ticket and two Lottos, please."
That's called rolling over your investment, folks.
12 prescriptions:
So you reinvested your profits.
Prudent wealth management dear..
Ratz!..I was all ready to help you spend your windfall.
buy bonds...
And that's how they get ya! ;)
Mom: Well, not exactly profits, per se. With what I've spent on losing tickets, and winning only a total of $6 over the past year, it would be more accurate to say I reinvested my winnings. I haven't lost that much though. I'm just not a gambler at heart, I guess.
DL: Exactly.
Sling: Your next pack of gum is on me.
YDG: I will do that with my next big win.
Casey: Right. Bastards. Which is why I have to keep my wits about me. I once saw a guy come in and buy $30 of tickets, all in one pop! I'll stick with my $2, thank you.
I take a $2 lottery tickey by four (for each family member) always consecutive running -
I know someone who won the $100,000 (not a massive win but really handy) not once but twoce about 10 years apart. My husband may have been really ill and our medical bills took a lot of it, but bot thimes it came as we were left wondering how we were gong to survive. One of his wheelchairs cost $10,000 - mattress $2,000, nursing care etc medical costs well ove $40,000 per annum etc etc, so somewhere up there was an angel - my theory is that if you are a giving person, good things migt happen - if not you feel good about yourself anyway.
the $200,000 went long before he died, but it made his life and mine so much less of a worry. We could get our van fixed, we could help the girls a bit, especially when the youngest became so ill
Don gave and gave and gave - always the first to help family members out.
So as long as you keep it down it doesn't hurt to have a small dream. mine costs $8 a week or every two weeks - I always get "Not a winning ticket"
But as said I know someone who won twice. But won just what was needed to get them through.
Did you ever notice when you buy a lottery ticket you've got your whole day planned thinking about how you would spend the money?
$3? Pfssssst.....and I had my shopping list all made out and everything. I was going to ask for a pair of those see-through Wellies to show off my pasty-white legs!
I do the same thing. The big difference being that you at least won 3 bucks. So far, on the rare occasions that I buy a ticket for the fantasy value I have won a grand total of bupkis.
Sound financial thinking rolling over your investment like that.
The first lottery we had in Canada was for the Olympics in Montreal - that would have been back in 1978. I had a list of what I was going to do with my winnings... pay my brother's mortage, buy a house in Aix-in-Provence yadayadayada!
29 years later I was still buying tickets twice a week and still had the list - except that house in Provence was going to take up most of the winnings.
What fools these mortals be!
Steve is a sucker too...he will only buy at one place...Arnie's Gas Fill 'er Up....never gets gas just a Snicker's and a lotto ticket...we won 10 bucks. 0nce.
Oddly, I never buy them. Not because I'm sensible, more because I have a dead zone in the gambling lobe of my brain. It just never occurs to me. Wish I could take all my accrued lotto Karma and pass it on to you.
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