Shock Value
So, as far as the burning outlet fiasco, the electricity is working fine. [hastily pounds wood]
Wait ... that didn't sound right, but I'm leaving it because y'all are a bunch of freaks.
I know this because in my last post, the thing that apparently resonated in your heads was my one flip comment about my ass. Bring up the subject of assage, and you all are on it.
And in response, yes, my ass has been known to cause many a man (and a few of the ladies) to swoon. Someone once called it Helen of Troy. Unfortunately, within the last couple of years, my ass has moved beyond healthy, corn-fed, thick, bodacious, and other euphamisms, right on out the other side. In fact, these days it's more like just Troy. It did have its glory days, though...
Anyway, the dryer outlet has been replaced, and is holding steady. It was just the outlet, not the wiring. Yesss. I had asked the head of maintenance at my workplace to recommend a cheap/honest electrician. He offered to come take a look himself, since I live right up the road from my place of employment. Or maybe because there are no cheap/honest electricians. So, no more laundromat, no more stringing clothes around the house, like before I moved back to the States. How quickly we get spoiled! We will no longer be drying clothes when no one is home, however, because I'm mean and paranoid like that. We narrowly averted a wall-fire, and we have dogs.
I'm considering building a shrine to the home improvement gods, and making periodic sacrifices. If knocking on wood doesn't work.
24 comments:
(claps hands!)
Ooooh let's burn the old furnace filter as our first sacrifice! (Should we be concerned that I am so giddy about the concept of sacrificing things to Pagan fire gods? Must be my Halloween spirit coming out.)
I want to know what the electricity God looks like...and the furnace God too...so I can make an appropriate sacrifice to add to yours....because I worry about you....because I do stuff like you do and have gotten hurt. But we keep on doing it. Like the time I was standing on the propane heater in the living room painting behind it and melted the bottom of my slippers.
Hat: Excellent idea! We'll have to get some of those breathing masks first, though. And no, I'm not concerned at all about your Halloween spirit. It's the best kind of spirit. Except maybe Yule spirit. Or spirits in a chilled glass.
Rosemary: Goodgravy, woman! Your slippers melted? And you worry about me?
I've never heard of a corn-fed ass.
WM: That's because you've blocked out the time you spent in the midwest as a child.
I think I will do the unexpected, and not comment on "wood", "ass", or corn. In the spirit of sacrifice, I volunteer to burn a hateful, asshat, rethuglican to the Pagan Gods. Some grand gesture is in order...perhaps the shrub? Sounds like your helpful guy from work might just be a little smitten with you. Obviously, Your self perceived swoon ability is under rated. Hope he's not some skeezy McCheezy...
Glad to see I'm not the only person that has a dryer phobia ;) I won't run it with an empty house either, or at night once I've retired for the evening. Had a neighbor that had an unfortunate dryer fire a few years ago, whole house went down. Sort of freaked me out.
And for the record- see I can refrain from tawdry commentary regarding body parts!
All Praise the Gods of Electricity! Bow down before the circuit breaker board.
Tater I will gladly help you sacrifice a Rethuglican to the alter of the Gods. Only first, let do to him (I assume it would be a him) what they've been doing to progressives for the past 13 years - and then just leave him unsatisfied and frustrated. After all, we got ours didn't we? LOL
Must...refrain...from...mentioning...booty....
Well if you can find the virgins to sacrifice - outside of your own home I mean - I think I'd fly over just to see it and have some of that chilli.
And I'm taking a suggestion from you - I'm hanging things on the line until they are almost dry and then giving them a final tumble - why is that everything I'm saying today sounds suggestive?
Not to get all practical and such but conventional wisdom is that one should never, in fact, run the dryer when not home. Even with good electricity.
As for the sacrifice, I'll throw on the fire the electrician we hired for our remodel. The guy who only did 1/3 of the work and expected to be paid for the full contract. Which we didn't. Because The Spouse finished the job.
That picture is way too reminiscent of me at that age, discovering with great certainty that metal pens do not in fact go in the electric sockets. I think that's why I had curly hair as a kid!
Thanks for the reminder!
Vila, the pagan god of home improvement, will smile benevolently on your pyre. Just be sure to start it with wood cut with a Craftsman saw.
Tater: and I had so counted on your tawdry commentary. No, totally off base about the guy from work -- he's very professional, married, and just an all around good guy. Not even a hint of that. Unfortunately, my work place is not a font of opportunity in that vein. In my department, it's a bunch of women - I think I'm the youngest, which ain't saying much - and one gay man. The rest of the place ... meh.
DL: What is it with the restraint here today? Sheesh, I depend on you people for this stuff. You all must have me mixed up with Aunt Ethel.
RG: Sounds good. Can I assume we'll read about the doings on your most entertaining site? And again with the restraint! See above.
Willym: You are welcome any time! And hey, it's all about that final tumble, my man.
Lorraine: ACK! See? That's crazy! I have a huge distrust of home repair guys. I hope the Spouse is handy. In fact, I think that's one of the best benefits of spousing it.
Al: Oh, I bet you were so cute once they scrubbed off the charred bits.
KA: Vila - HA! I don't have a Craftsman saw. Will an old steak knife do?
PS - My slackass did finally get around to answering you all on the last post.
I will happily sacrifice a few of my co-workers and everyone in payroll and benefits. (small paycheck problem, read oops! we forgot to pay you?) However, I will refrain from mentioning your booty. Olympic bar squats do wonders.
You wrote about your ass and I missed it? You aren't the only slacker..
"Or maybe because there ARE no cheap/honest electricians." HA!!!
"Hastily pounds wood" is right up there with "Thrashes violently against chaise."
EvilG: You're such a good blogbuddy - sacrificing your payroll department like that. Cyberlove knows no bounds, does it?
Allen: It was just one line -- but you know this crowd. THey were on it.
E/Red: [grin]
I'm glad it got fixed and you can do laundry at home again.
Indeed, the gods were smiling upon this particular project! Semmly, smoking bakelite is a "no-diggum!"
The Spouse is so handy that he has saved us THOUSANDS of dollars in handy bills since we bought this house. I can weild a hammer and a power drill and paintbrush but he's got mad skillz in the electrical and plumbing departments. Bless him now and forever.
Whim: me too, trust me!
Craig: apparently so...
Lorraine: Well he's worth his weight in gold for that alone. I seriously would contemplate marriage again if handyman services were involved. Is that so wrong? It is, isn't it...
Well, my wife's Aunt would only consider marriage if it was to a mute woodworker.
"I'd call him Woody!" she's fond of saying.
(Oh, and I meant "smelly" not "semmly." But you knew that.)
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